Three Little Words
by Ladyembth
Summary: Edith Crawley has lived in the shadow of her sister Mary all her life. As she struggles to find her own way she has managed to sully her reputation and that of her family. With the threat of her escapades being published in one of the new scandal sheets, her father has given her an ultimatum, marry and soon. Only one person comes forward to help her, Sir Anthony Strallan.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N I have been having trouble with the outline of my other story Till There Was You. Somehow this one popped into my head. Wrote the whole thing over the holidays. Edith is different here and for the first few chapters you may not like her much. I have also made her older which also gives her an edge. Anthony too is different than in the series. He is confident and has no age issues and I have given him a past. __**In the series**__ the only thing I learned about him is that he was rich, widowed, and owned a large estate. Nothing about him personally. So who is he really?_

_This is AU and takes place before Mary and Matthew are married. I don't own these characters, I just like having play dates with them at Julian Fellowes' favorite playground Downton Abbey._

Lady Edith Crawley had slowly become without anyone noticing, the most difficult of Lord Grantham's daughters. Always living in her older sister Mary's shadow, she had slowly emerged from it and had become her own person around 1912; shortly after Patrick Crawley, her cousin, and heir to her father Lord Grantham, died on the Titanic.

Patrick Crawley's death had hardened her, made her cold and more calculating even than her sister Mary. Edith had loved him. However, Patrick was intended for Mary, even though Mary didn't love him, would never love him and certainly didn't mourn his death. Mary's hopes of being the Countess of Grantham were now resting on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

After many weeks of searching, Matthew Crawley, a distant third cousin and a solicitor from Manchester (of all places), was named heir. Mary treated Matthew with distain, and noticing how rude Mary was, Edith set out on her scheme to get Matthew interested in her. What a coup it would be if Matthew fell in love with her and she, not Mary would wear the Coronet of the Countess of Grantham. But as always, Mary had already spun her web, and Matthew only had eyes for Mary. They became engaged before the war but Matthew called it off when he realized that Mary only wanted to marry him for the title. Edith smiled ear to ear when she found that out, but Matthew was no longer of interest to her. She was going after bigger fish.

Her total transformation happened around 1914 when WWI started. The war changed everyone, and it completely changed Edith Crawley. By 1920 at the age of thirty, she had spent the last ten years living her life pretty much as she wanted. Her family looked past her and through her, never really noticing her and who she was. She convinced herself that they really didn't care what she did. She never was sure exactly what she was to them and it was that knowledge, or lack of it, that led her to believe that because of her position in society, she was above the social conventions of the day and could do as she pleased. She became an expert at winding her father around her little finger and pulling the "poor little me" card thus getting his approval and money.

During the war she learned to drive and that alone scandalized the family. But when she got a job working for one of her father's tenant farmers, the tongues really started to wag. She enjoyed working, being useful, and it didn't take her long to notice that farmer John Drake had taken a keen interest in her. Their first kiss happened in the barn one night. Their next kiss happened the next day, down in one of his fields, and before long he was kissing and fondling her all over the farm. She didn't love him or even pretend to, but she loved the sensations that he sent through her body, and she would have gladly lost her virginity to him, if he had been of her class. But she pulled the "lady" card and "I am a virgin card" on him, and not wanting to raise the wrath of Lord Grantham, he stopped. However, she did manage to let him know that she liked kissing him very much and that she wanted to continue doing that. And they continued doing just that for the next few days until Mrs. Drake saw them and promptly sent a note to Lord Grantham thanking him for Edith's help and informing him that they were going to hire a new man to help on the farm. She knew that Mrs. Drake would never say anything because it would just be her word against Ediths; and Edith could always look demure and sweet if the situation called for it.

But with the end of the war, her parents were suddenly interested in her and her prospects. The sudden attention only made her laugh. They had tried this before in 1914 when they invited a rich neighbor, Sir Anthony Strallan to dinner as a possible suitor. She was twenty four then, and while he seemed nice enough, he wasn't someone she would ever be interested in. She was pleasant to him most of the evening and hoped that he would never call on her again. She informed her parents that thirty or forty years of married boredom with him wasn't for her. She wanted to be left alone to live her life as she saw fit.

Her seasons in London hadn't been very successful either. No one offered for her, but that was fine as far as she was concerned. She didn't want to be married. She wanted to live her life as her Aunt Rosamund did, independent and answering to no one. Yes, Edith Crawley at age thirty was quite the woman, but soon her life would not be her own. Change was coming.

After the war Edith wrote a series of articles about women's and veteran's rights. They were published in _The Times_ much to her father's disgust. But her articles had caught the eye of Michael Gregson, the editor of _The Sketch_ He invited her to London to talk about the possibility of working for his paper, and as soon as they met Edith in her conceited way knew that this relationship, working for him or not, was going to go places. She convinced her father to let her move to London and work for the paper. She was supposed to be under the supervision of her aunt Rosamund, but Edith soon got her own flat; after all she was over twenty-one and had a trust fund set up by her grandfather.

It started with casual dinners, working dinners he called them. But Edith didn't know it at the time that Michael Gregson wasn't some country bumpkin farmer who she could flirt with and dismiss on a whim. He was sophisticated and more worldly than she was; and unknown to her had already made plans for their relationship. He was manipulative and played on her insecurities. He wined and dined her, gushed over her articles, and when holding her hand, always looked at her in a loving way. The first time he kissed her she thought she was going to catch on fire. Drake's kisses had been ardent, but Gregson's were urgent. He kissed her lips, neck, ears, eyes, all the while moving his hands all over her body. If this was love, than Edith Crawley was more than ready to fall in.

But marriage wasn't on Gregson's agenda. He told her that he loved her and wanted to be with her but there was a small problem. It seemed he was married, and his wife was committed to an asylum in Scotland. He told her that his wife didn't even know who he was anymore, and because of British law regarding divorcing an insane person, he could never offer Edith marriage. But that didn't mean he didn't love her, want her, need her and they could live together discretely , no one would find out if they were careful and even if society did, so what! She was over twenty one, could make her own decisions

Throwing caution to the wind, she agreed. She felt she was smart enough and clever enough to handle anything that came her way. She didn't move in with him right away, instead he stayed with her at her flat. She lived for their time together. He convinced her that she was everything he ever wanted or needed.

They were together about two weeks when one day at work she saw him and one of his secretaries kissing and fondling each other in the back room at the Sketch. Humiliated and berating herself for being such a fool, she knew then that he would never be faithful to her. She was smart enough to know that if they continued with their arrangement , she would ruin her reputation in no time.

She met him at his flat later that day and told him that she had changed her mind and that being his mistress wasn't something she was capable of. She tried to explain that as modern as she seemed, she was still the daughter of the Earl of Grantham and was raised with old fashioned values; one of which was not living with a man without benefit of marriage.

She never expected his anger to erupt the way it did, and by the time she made it back to her flat, her face was bruised, her lip split and her ribs and hip aching where he had pushed her into a table. But it was his parting remarks that chilled her to the bone. As he took her arm and threw her out of his flat, he told her that he wasn't finished with her yet; no one ever broke with him or played him for a fool, and the beautiful Lady Edith Crawley, daughter of the Earl of Grantham, had just put her and her family's reputation in jeopardy. He would wait until the time was ripe and then he would publish everything he knew about her and her family, and if his publisher wouldn't publish it, he would sell it to one of the gossip papers that were springing up all over the place.

He told her that he had enough information about the Crawleys to damage their good name forever. Oh it wasn't just about her and their relationship, no he knew about her sister Sybil and how she had run off with the chauffeur, moving to Ireland with him and becoming involved in his Irish politics. He knew all about her father's valet, Bates and how he had been convicted of murdering his wife, and he knew that Downton was in financial jeopardy because of mismanagement and poor investments by her father, but the coup was her romance with a tenant farmer. Somehow he had learned about that, and had paid Mrs. Drake a tidy sum to tell her story.

While Edith was concerned, she was confident that he was only bluffing. After all he was a nobody and she and her family were the Crawleys. The Earldom of Grantham had been around for four hundred years. _Arrogant man_! No one would ever believe him and she would have the protection of her family, or so she thought.

However, the straw that broke the camel's back came about one month later. To get over the Gregson affair, Edith went to Italy with some of her friends. All rich like her, the little group partied and drank their way all over Rome. Flaunting convention, Edith took up with Sir Reginald Pantene, the heir to the Earl of Laurelhurst. Pantene was following in the footsteps of his uncle, Charles Pantene, who had disgraced the family by getting involved with opium and having many affairs with married women while living in China and India and working for the English East India Company.

Sir Reginald Pantene at age thirty eight was rich, infamous, smart and somewhat handsome . Edith, as the daughter of the Earl of Grantham, caught his eye and he showered her with attention. After the nightmare she had experienced with Michael Gregson, Pantene was a relief. Flattered at first, she enjoyed being seen with him, after all he was of her social class, but as time wore on he began to get on her nerves. She came to the conclusion that the man had absolutely no substance. Here was a man of high birth frittering away his life. Even she was smart enough to see this. However, she wasn't smart enough to realize that all the escapades she had been involved in as a result of her friendship with Pantene, were slowly etching away at whatever reputation she had left.

The final act came one night as he was escorting her back to her hotel. Walking past Bernini's Fountain of the Four Rivers, he grabbed her and kissed her, all the while making suggestive remarks and doing his best to fondle her. While trying to pull away from him, she caught her shoe in a cobblestone and fell backward into the fountain. Because Sir Reginald had been holding on to her, he followed and landed on top of her.

The whole scene had been witnessed by a number of people who knew who Pantene and Edith were, including a man sitting at a café across from the fountain. Running across the square he pushed Pantene off of Edith, and then reached down and helped her up and out of the water. Tears, anger, frustration, embarrassment, all ran across her face as she looked up to say "Thank You!" only to be looking into the blue eyes of Sir Anthony Strallan.

_Good God! _ she thought. _Of all the people in the world to be here at this moment it has to be someone from home._

Her embarrassment was acute as he gently led her back across the square to his table. He ordered an espresso for her and asked the waiter to please bring a dry tablecloth to wrap around her shoulders.

Pantene, climbing out of the fountain and noticing where she was , followed.

Sir Anthony Strallan, at 6'4" was taller than Pantene by at least five inches. Rising from his chair and looking down at Pantene he said in a slow measured voice,

"Sir, your evening with Lady Edith is at an end. I suggest you turn around and crawl back into the hole from whence you came. "

Pantene looked at Strallan and then at Edith and said through a sneer, "Lady Edith you will regret this evening, regret it for a very long time. " With that he smoothed his hair and clothes, turned and walked away.

Edith put her hands to her face and started to cry, more from frustration than embarrassment. She noticed that Sir Anthony hadn't said anything to her. He just sat there looking at her, waiting for her to compose herself.

"Thank you! Sir Anthony. Thank you very much" she finally said. "I am so sorry that you had to witness that, but I am glad to see a friendly face from home. I. . . . . .ah. . . . . .I've made a real mess of things it seems," she said as she stared off into space.

"When you have finished your espresso, let me escort you back to your hotel. Things will look better after a goodnight's sleep." He smiled at her reassuringly.

"Not these things, I'm afraid. I can't stay here. I have to go home and as soon as I can."

"Are you here with friends or a maid who can travel home with you?" he asked in a friendly tone.

"I don't know where my friends are at the moment and I didn't bring a maid. I have been using one from the hotel."

"Lady Edith, please forgive me for being so bold at such an awkward time, but I am traveling back to London tomorrow afternoon. I would be honored if you would consider letting me escort you. A young woman like yourself cannot travel alone, especially across Europe. You have an aunt who lives in London if memory serves, so I would be happy to deliver you to her house. It would give you time to. . . . .ah. . . . pull yourself together before you head back to Downton."

_I have to do more than pull myself together,_ she thought as she looked at his sincere face.

"Thank you, Sir Anthony. It is kind of you to offer your assistance, but I am sure you know that by the time we board the train, I will be considered a scandalous woman and the gossips will be talking about us being seen together, especially since it is a two day trip." She said with some sadness in her voice.

"They will talk anyway," he said laughing as he helped her to her feet and walked with her to her hotel.

/ / / / / / / /

They didn't talk much on the way back to London . He had bought her some magazines to read and he was deeply engrossed in newspapers and paperwork. She didn't try to explain what he had witnessed and he had the good manners not to ask. He didn't talk much she noticed. When he did talk, he seemed uncomfortable and stumbled through what he wanted to say. She couldn't sleep and ate very little. All she could think about is what had happened and what would happen if Michael Gregson found out. When they arrived in London Anthony escorted her to her Aunt Rosamund's house and politely excused himself when asked if he would consider staying for tea. He wished Edith a safe and pleasant journey home, thanked her for her company, and left.

But Edith knew that her journey home would be anything but pleasant. Her time at her aunts only gave the scandal time to roar past London and head for Yorkshire as fast as the engines pulling the trains with the newspapers aboard could get it there.

Her stupidity regarding Gregson and the Rome escapade brought her back to Downton one week later to face the wrath of her father.

So it didn't come as a total surprise when she was called into the Library shortly after arriving home. She was probably going to get another lecture. They asked her to keep a low profile for the sake of her sister Mary; always Mary. That request alone irked Edith. Matthew had proposed again and he and Mary were going to be married in the spring. Her mother explained that they didn't need a scandal to deal with along with the wedding. While her parents didn't know all the details of her time in London and her relationship with Gregson, they had heard rumors. They were coming at her from all sides but what happened in the next few minutes brought her life to a crashing halt.


	2. Chapter 2

_As you have probably figured out Edith and Anthony didn't have any kind of relationship before the war. I have changed a few things about how they know each other, but basically they are strangers. Will they be for long?_

Lady Edith Crawley sat there gaping at her mother and father. They wanted, no demanded that she accept the marriage proposal of all people, that boorish old neighbor, Anthony Strallan.

"I won't do it," she all but screamed.

"Yes, you will" her father answered angrier than she had ever seen him. " I am not willing for this family to be dragged through the mud anymore. Your mother and I love you Edith, but the disasters that have hit this family have now gone too far. Your relationship with this Gregson, Sybil's marriage, the Bates trial, your little escapade in Rome, the financial woes of the estate, and the fact you used poor judgment in traveling home on an overnight train with an unmarried man are more than enough to ruin us all, and I mean ruin."

Sitting down next to Edith, he said, "Edith, I know that you think Stallan is dull and boorish, but when you get to know him you might find him different than you think. He knows all about the Gregson rumors, and obviously Rome, and he knows that he put your reputation in jeopardy by accompanying you home to London. You are not an ingénue, you are thirty years old, and I hate to say it, suitable men of our class are not lining up to offer you their hand in marriage, nor are they about to. This Gregson thing has been floating around London for at least six weeks. Your Rome adventure is fresh enough to dredge it up again. I am sorry my dear, but even if the rumors are untrue, you are still considered damaged goods. Most men I am sorry to say don't want to take on that kind of baggage. For the first time Edith noticed that her ability to twist her father to her way of thinking was at an end. She could not remember the last time she had seen him this angry.

"Mary finally has a real chance for happiness," her mother said. "I know that you two have never gotten along and that you have tried to carve out a life for yourself out of her shadow, but please think of her happiness. We want to see you settled before her marriage to Matthew in the spring." Mathew is a kind and decent man and loves Mary very much. Don't ruin this happy time for her."

"And what if I refuse," she said arching her back.

Pacing back and forth and trying to get his anger under control, her father said,

"As much as it pains me to say this Edith, you will be sent to Scotland to wait out the scandal. I will send you a monthly stipend, but you will not be welcomed back until everything blows over, and that could take a year or more. Even then I am afraid that decent society still won't open a door for you. Unless you are married, you will be tainted for the rest of your life. From what I have heard so far, Reginald Pantene is painting you as a flirtatious and callous woman, encouraging him and then throwing him over. Of course I have denied it to my friends, but once this hits the scandal sheets, there will be no turning back. Since your grandmother's illness, America is not an option for you. I swear to God Edith, you have two choices. I hope you will make the one that is going to be the best for you," her father exclaimed while leaning against the fireplace.

Edith was stunned. She knew what her father said was true. Left to her own devices, she had managed to ruin herself with scandal as well as the old name of Grantham. She didn't know if she could ever get another writing job in London, going to America wasn't an option, and being sent to the dregs of Scotland wasn't something she wanted either.

But marriage to Anthony Strallan as a last resort; It made her heart sink to think about it. She had never wanted to be married to anyone, least of all him.

"What does Strallan get out of all this? He can't be happy about marrying me anymore than I am him. After all papa, marrying me won't help him any. If anything it will just kick dirt up on him and his name.

Robert looked at his beautiful middle daughter. He always felt that of the three, Edith was the loveliest. She had the coloring of his paternal grandmother, Vivian; red hair and the temper that went with it. If only she could learn to tame it. As a little girl she had been kind and loving. Her personality change had happened so slowly that no one noticed, and it had brought her to this.

Taking her hand he said, "Strallan has been wanting to buy 300 acres from me for a long time. Seems he wants to bring some of the sheep he raises in Scotland down here, and my land is best suited for his needs. He is paying me a lot of money, much more than the property is worth. The infusion of his money will help to alleviate some of our money woes . And as your husband and a member of the family, his knowledge of farming and investments could help get the estate back in the black. He is very smart. Locksley is the only estate in the region that isn't in some kind of financial mess."

"So I am to be a human sacrifice on the altar of Downton Abbey," she said with sarcasm in her voice.

"No! his offer for your hand has nothing to do with the land. He will buy the land whether or not you accept him. He was gracious enough as a friend to say that whatever you decide he will still help me sort out estate business. But, he wanted you to have the opportunity to make the decision.

"Edith, her mother said. Your life decisions have been yours to make. If you choose, you do not have to marry Anthony Strallan. However may I remind you that as the disgraced daughter of the Earl of Grantham, there won't be any place for you to go. By marrying Sir Anthony, you will be given a life, and if I may say so, a good one at that," her mother continued as she walked toward Edith and put her arm around her. "You my darling have reached the end of your rope. You have nowhere to go."

For the last ten years, Edith Crawley thought she would always be in control of her own destiny, make her own decisions. But because of her stubbornness, arrogance, and stupidity, she was now in a black hole and the only way out was to grab onto the only hand that was reaching out to her – Anthony Strallan's.

"Does he want to talk with me or am I to meet him at the altar?" Edith said bitterly, trying not to cry.

"He is coming for dinner tonight," Cora said. "You will have time to talk to him before we sit down."

Edith excused herself and went upstairs to change. She was so angry she could spit nails. She opened her armoire and threw a black silk dress on the bed.

_Well why not,_ she thought, since _this is the blackest day of my life I might as well dress in mourning._

Anna helped her with her hair, but even she didn't have anything to say . Edith had insisted that Anna pull her hair back in a severe bun at the nape of her neck. There was nothing anyone could say. Her life as she knew it was over. The tears cascading down her face only emphasized how miserable she felt.

_Anthony Strallan! _ She sat there and thought about him. What did she really know about him? _Absolutel_y n_othing_, she thought. He had been kind and helped her in Rome, but did that give him the gall to think she would marry him? He obviously thought so. She felt like throwing up.

She tried to think back to when she had seen him last, before Rome that is. Once before the war he had been invited to Downton as a possible suitor for her, and while she had flirted a little with him, she thought he was smart enough to know it meant nothing. When he came calling a month later to take her for a ride in his new car, she dismissed him again.

_What is wrong with him_, she wondered_. Why would he think I would be interested in him now when I wasn't then. Stupid man!_

Sitting looking in the mirror, she tried to piece together what she did know about him. She figured that he was somewhere in his late forties. His estate bordered Downtons. He had many holdings in England as well as Scotland. She remembered hearing her father mention that he had some mining interests in western Canada. Robert seemed to be impressed with Sir Anthony's knowledge of farming and land management because he had been here more than once since the end of the war helping her father sort out difficulties on parts of the Downton estate that bordered his.

He had also been wounded during the war. He had been shot in his right arm, but her father had mentioned in casual conversation that while it was weaker than his left one, he could still use it, and whenever it bothered him he used a sling.

_A cripple as well as being old and boring. The only thing the man has in his favor _she thought as she pulled on her gloves_, is that he's rich._

Now, as she walked down the stairs she continued to think about him. He wasn't a troll, she would give him that. He was very tall, taller than her father, and she had to admit somewhat good looking in an odd sort of way. She remembered back to 1914. He seemed to be uncomfortable in large groups of people and found it difficult to carry on a conversation. The more Edith thought about it, women seemed to make him nervous. He sort of fumbled and bumbled his way through conversations with them. She figured that he probably didn't know what topics would be interesting to them. Maybe that is why he didn't talk to her much on the train.

_Good,_ she thought. _I will make it extremely difficult for him to have any kind of conversation with me._

She knew that he had blond hair that was turning grey at his temples and that he looked very good in formal attire. _Well, that's about it,_ she thought_. I know nothing about him at all, nor do I want too._

However, there was one thing she wanted to find out from him tonight. Why did he want to ruin her life by marrying her?

And there would be one thing he would find out about her. She had never thought about being married and knew she wouldn't be any good at it. That would set him straight.


	3. Chapter 3

Anthony Strallan left Rosamund Painswick's house shortly after delivering Lady Edith Crawley there safely. He went directly to the train station and caught the last afternoon train home to Yorkshire. Sitting in his first class car, he crossed his legs and thought back over the last three days.

He had gone to Rome on business, but had decided to stay on a few days because it was one of his favorite cities. He loved the food, wine, and the history. He never tired of walking around and admiring the many fountains, statues, and architecture of the city. Bernini's Fountain of the Four Rivers was one of his favorites and it was there in the waning light of day that he encountered Lady Edith Crawley sprawled out sputtering in the water after falling in.

He had seen her and her friends one or two times after arriving in the city. Her little group led by that idiot Reginald Pantene made a scene wherever they went. He heard people talking about them after they left a restaurant one night where he had been dining with some friends. Her behavior was scandalous, on that much he agreed, but in the back of his mind he wondered why.

Growing up at Downton Abbey couldn't have been a pleasant experience. He remembered the time in 1914 when he had been invited there for dinner. While not knowing exactly why he had been invited, as soon as they sat down for dinner, his question was answered. Seated between Lady Grantham and Lady Edith it was evident that he had been invited as a possible suitor for her.

Edith was pleasant to look at and was interesting to talk too. He discovered that they both enjoyed music and literature and she had an interest in the political issues of the day. Her sister however, the Lady Mary was another piece of work altogether. Cold and aloof, she looked down her nose at him all evening and when he tried to talk to her only answered him in one syllable words.

Her younger sister Lady Sybil on the other hand was vivacious and an endless talker; practically talking his ear off. At the end of the evening Lady Edith graciously said good-bye but didn't give him any encouragement as to whether it would please her to see him again. Her face was a cold mask and he wondered at the time if she had been taking lessons from her sister Mary.

A month later he went back to Downton to make a courtesy call and to ask Lady Edith if she would be interested in taking a drive in his new car. She declined graciously and he never saw her again, until he helped her out of the fountain.

After the war he had heard things here and there about her. He knew she had gone to London and had become a writer for The Sketch. He read her articles with interest, and while some of her thoughts and ideas didn't align with his, he still thought her a bright young woman. Living away from Downton Abbey had been obviously been good for her.

The women in his group of friends always seemed to know the latest gossip about everyone. _Telephone,_ _Telegraph, Tell- A-Woman,_ he thought. They were especially keen on the gossip about the daughter of the Earl of Grantham. But when he heard the rumors about her and her editor Michael Gregson, he grew concerned. He knew that although times were changing they weren't changing fast enough for a woman to live down a scandal. When he saw her in Rome with Pantene, he knew she was headed for disaster.

At age forty eight he was considered a most eligible catch. Most of the married women he knew were forever inviting him to dinners and concerts and introducing him to women they felt would be a perfect match for him. He did want to be married again, but he would do his own choosing. And it was to this end that he decided to put into motion his plan to offer Lady Edith Crawley his hand in marriage. He would do it because he had failed before to save a lovely woman from a life of humiliation. He didn't want Edith Crawley to meet the same end, shunned by society and family and perhaps meeting the same fate as a woman he had once loved.

Twenty five years earlier he had known a young woman who had also made some personal mistakes that had cost her dearly. The young man she was to marry turned his back on her , her family disowned her and her place in society was gone. Being young and beautiful she made her way to Paris and fell under the tutelage of one of the most famous courtesans of the day, Cora Pearl. She was intelligent, beautiful, and well- schooled in pleasing men. Because of her convent schooling , she was the perfect companion for a well- placed, rich man. Her name was Claudine.

When Anthony was twenty three and before he became engaged to Maud he was taken to Paris by non other than Charles Pantene who at the time was a friend of his uncle. Young men were often taken to Paris to be introduced into the delights of sexual intimacy, usually by a courtesan.

Anthony was introduced to Claudine. He spent one day and night with her and fell madly in love . She pleasured him in ways that he never thought existed and she showed him how to pleasure a woman, to make her truly his own. They loved and talked for twenty-four hours. He had never felt like this about a woman, not even Maud. He begged her to marry him and come back to England, but Claudine refused, telling him that how could he come into his inheritance and be accepted by his peers if they knew that his wife had once been a courtesan in Paris. She told him that he would be ruined and she couldn't do that to him. He left part of his heart with her when he left, and regretted that he hadn't met her three years earlier when he could have given her a better life.

She gave him a little book to take home, a book to remember her by because she had fallen in love with him as well. It wasn't just the sexual chemistry between them, they both knew the love they had for each other was more than that. It was a meeting of hearts and minds. He remembered even now how hard it had been for both of them to leave each other, knowing they would probably never see each other again. So Anthony went back to Yorkshire, married Maud, took over Locksley, and lived an unfulfilled life for sixteen years. He thought about Claudine everyday.

/ / / / /

So two days after arriving back home, Anthony Strallan made an appointment with Robert, Earl of Grantham. He knew from talking with his accountants in London that Downton Abbey and the estate was in a financial mess. Even accountants liked to gossip. For years he had wanted to buy 300 acres of land so that he could breed his special sheep down here as well as in Scotland. He had always been told no, not at this time, but now he was certain that his proposal would be welcomed. He was willing to offer fifty pounds more an acre than the land was worth.

When Anthony was shown into the Downton library he knew immediately that something was wrong and being astute as he was, he felt he knew the answer.

"Have I come at a bad time?" he inquired of the Earl.

"No!" Robert said shaking Anthony's hand. " I need to ask you a question. I had a call from my sister in London and she tells me that you witnessed an altercation with Lady Edith in Rome. Something that could put her reputation in jeopardy. Is this true?"

"Yes! She was having difficulty with a gentleman, if you could call him that. I only know what I saw, which was he was trying to force his attentions on her and she tripped and fell into a fountain. "

"Good God! This is the icing on the cake. I don't know what has gotten into her lately, but ever since the war ended she has been making terrible decisions. You know she took up with her editor in London, a married man so I am told, and now this business in Rome."

"Maybe it isn't as bad as you think" Anthony said trying to sound upbeat.

"You're too kind. If any of those scandal sheets get ahold of this or anything else, her reputation and ours will be ruined."

"But you didn't come here to talk about my problems with Edith. If you still want to buy the 300 acres, I will gladly sell them you," Robert said with a tone of resignation in his voice.

Now was the time to bring up the other matter. Robert was in a state on anxiety about Edith.

"Robert, I have another matter that I would like to discuss with you. I have decided that I would like to be married again. Marriage makes one's life much more settled, and since Maud's death I have sort of been at loose ends. With that being said, I would like to offer Lady Edith my hand in marriage. I know I am eighteen years older than her, but I am in excellent health, and my arm while not as good as my left one is still useful. My estate is profitable and flourishing and by marrying me she would be protected by my name and rank if any of these stories should ever be published. I promise you she would never want for anything, and I can keep her safe. Also, I feel that I am partly responsible for any gossip. I did bring her back to London with me on the train. The first class cars were all taken so she had to share mine. I hope you know that I would never have put her in that position if the situation had been different."

Robert just looked at Anthony and then tears started to form in his eyes. This shy man, this man he always thought as boring, his neighbor for over twenty five years was offering to take the scandal away from Downton and onto himself. He took Anthony's good hand, shook it and said through his tears, "Thank you, Anthony. Thank you for this kindness. "Don't give the train a second thought. It is nothing compared to what I think is coming."

"I would like Lady Edith to decide this for herself," Anthony said. "I don't want her to feel like her back is against the wall. I want you to know that whatever her decision, I will still buy the acres from you. Please talk this over with Lady Grantham and if she is keen on the idea, let me know when Lady Edith comes home and I will come and make my offer."

So here he was on his way to Downton Abbey to propose marriage to Lady Edith Crawley. He fervently hoped that she would keep an open mind and realize that marriage to him could be a good thing. He had actually written out what he wanted to say to her. This was too important to just "wing it". He could only guess what her parents had said to her. As his car pulled up in front of the Abbey, he smiled to himself and chuckled_. Just like Daniel going into the_ _lions den_, he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

_**So here it is – his proposal. Our Edith is in for a surprise!**_

Edith met Anthony Strallan at the door and led him into the library. Her nerves were on edge but she wanted to get this over with . She was so angry with him it was all she could do to be civil. She suddenly stopped and because he was right behind her he almost ran into her. Turning to look at him and giving him one of her narrowed eye looks, she sighed and said in a bored voice,

"Sir Anthony, first I want to thank you again for the help you gave me in Rome, especially escorting me back to London, and second why do you want to marry me, knowing everything you seem to about my past?"

She had tried hard to keep the anger out of her voice but somehow she knew that it had crept in and she knew that her anger had made her face red. She could feel it.

All her adult life Edith had been fighting being good vs. being mean. Living with her sisters it had become a defense and then slowly had become part of her personality. She had always imagined two little Ediths, one sitting on each of her shoulders whispering in her ear. Mostly throughout her life, mean Edith was the one whispering and tonight she was at it again.

_That's right, put him on the defense immediately, get the upper hand, _her mean inner voice said; the inner voice that always got her in trouble.

"Lady Edith," he said kindly, Why don't we sit down for a moment?"

She sat down and folded her hands in her lap. She was squeezing them so hard that she knew her knuckles showed white inside her gloves. She gave him another one of her withering glances (something she had learned from Mary) and waited for his answer.

Sitting down on the opposite end of the sofa from her he turned and looked at her . His bright blue eyes were shinning and he was looking at her with more honestly and sincerity than she had seen from anyone in a very long time. He began to answer her question,

"Lady Edith, we all make mistakes. Heaven knows I have made more than a few'" he said as he rolled his eyes, trying to put her at ease. "The thing is, hopefully we can learn a thing or two from them and move on with our lives. Unfortunately, society can be cruel and unforgiving, and I'm sorry to say I fear that is going to happen to you . I have heard some unpleasant things about when you were working at The Sketch, and the problem you had in Rome is only going to stoke that fire. I didn't think it through when I offered to escort you home. I was careless and should have made sure you had your own compartment instead of sharing mine. That was entirely my fault and I apologize for adding more fuel to the flames.

_Too bad he couldn't have given you some sugar to help that bitter pill go down_, the voice said.

"I have been widowed for eight years now. I liked being married. I thought I was rather good at it. I miss the companionship and friendship that marriage can bring. With all the gossip and finger pointing that could come your way, I can and will give you the protection of my name and rank. It is my hope that I can make you feel safe and secure and I assure you that I would be by your side. We would face the gossip together as a united front."

_Good God! What an ego. He thought he was good at marriage. What do men know about marriage? An institution invented by men for men. And he thinks he can help you get through the scandal –_ _insufferable boor_, the voice said.

Edith just stared blankly at him as he continued. She felt as if she couldn't move, like she was being hypnotized by his voice.

"You would be Lady Strallan of Locksley Park", he continued. And while there will be gossip, it would eventually die down; it always does. Something new comes along that is juicier for the gossipmongers to talk about. By marrying me, you would be secured a strong position in the county. People hopefully would think twice about saying disparaging things about you."

_People never think twice about the things they say. They just blurt them out, just like you have learned to do_, the voice continued.

"And you would have your own house to run, and me to boss around." He laughed. "While my position in the county isn't the same as your fathers, as my wife you could be a source for good and command respect. If you wanted to continue your writing I would support you in that as well. I would also hope with a little effort on both our parts, we might even become friends_."_

_Oh yes! you would be very good at bossing him around and manipulating him like you used to do to your father. But I doubt you could ever be friends with him. He is too sure of himself. Wait till you tell him you don't want to be married._

Sitting down on the sofa next to her he suddenly became more serious than before and said,

"One more thing, I will admit that I am lonely. I would like to share the rest of my life with someone. I would like to look up from my morning newspaper and see a pretty face. I would like to have someone on my arm when I go to concerts, dinners and church. And as silly as it sounds, I would like to have someone to spoil. Having a lot of money means nothing if you can't spend it on someone. "

Edith was dumbfounded. Looking at him she realized that it was a heartfelt confession he had just made. He had put his heart out there and all she had to do , if she wanted , was to crush him with one of her well- aimed remarks.

Suddenly she heard her nice voice say, _That was hard for him to do you know, admit something like that to you. The man has grit. He has staying power._

But the moment passed as quickly as it came and he said rising to his feet, "This is a decision that you and you alone need to make. As I told your father, it would be an honor to have your hand in marriage, but I will purchase the land from him whatever your decision."

_Ha! Ha! He really wants the land. You are truly an afterthought dearie_, the mean voice snickered.

Edith just sat and looked at him. She doubted that he had ever put those many words together all at one time in his life, especially while talking to a woman. And he wasn't flustered like she thought he would be. He hadn't bumbled his way through his speech. He had answered her question honestly and looked her in the eye the entire time.

_He isn't awestruck by you dearie. Kind of hard to take, eh!_ The voice continued.

She knew he wasn't in awe of her. In a way he frightened her. Here was a grown man who knew his own mind. He wasn't one of the self-absorbed young men she had so shamelessly flirted with over the years and who she could always twist and turn to her advantage (a trick she had learned from Mary). He frightened her in somewhat the same way Michael Gregson had. He wasn't a brazen as Gregson, but he wasn't as stupid as she thought him to be either. This was a confident man, a rich man and she knew that he couldn't be easily swayed. He wanted to be married. Knowing everything he did about her, he still was offering her his hand. He was willing to brave the gossip as her husband, even looking like a fool in the eyes of his friends.

_Why would he risk his reputation like that_? She thought. _What does he have to gain from marrying me? If it is the land he wants, papa will sell it to him anyway. I don't understand this at all._

Well, he had stated his case. Now it was up to her to decide. A dull boring marriage to him or having to be exiled to Scotland, and for how long? And then what? The lesser of the two evils was an easy decision to make.

_Well dearie, not quite what you thought he would be, is he. Not fitting into your mold. He is a puzzle and perhaps even a challenge, _the voice snickered.

Well , she always liked puzzles , and marriage to Sir Anthony Strallan just might be the biggest puzzle of her life. But at this exact moment she was too weary to care about challenges or puzzles. She and she alone had brought herself to this point in her life. She had no one to blame but herself.

Rising from the sofa, rolling her eyes and sighing (another trait she had learned from Mary and it always worked to her advantage) she said with very little emotion in her voice," Sir Anthony, you need to know from the start that I don't think I would take very well to marriage. Unlike you, I don't think I would be very good at it, but if you understand that and still want to offer me your hand, then I accept your proposal of marriage."

_No! Stop! I really don't mean that. It was a slip of the tongue, _her brain screamed,but words once spoken can't be pulled back, and she knew that she had sealed her fate. But wait, maybe there was still hope.

She thought that maybe by making certain things clear, about being married and all, he would thank her for her time and leave with his proposal in his pocket. But all he had to say while smiling that quirky smile of his was, "Lady Edith, you have made me the happiest of men."

_Good God_! _What have I done?_ she thought as she rolled her eyes , sighed , and nodded to him as she walked past him and out the door of the library.

_Good job! Rolling the eyes and sighing puts them off all the time. Nice touch walking right past him like_ _he doesn't exist_, the voice laughed again.

_He doesn't_, she snapped back under her breath.

And she didn't see him smile, see the tilt of his head, or the look in his eyes as he followed her out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Is getting married different than being married? **_

Their marriage took place two weeks later at Grantham church. Only immediate family were present, but Anthony as a wedding present to Edith paid for Sybil and Tom to come home. As happy as she was to see her sister, she resented the fact that Anthony had made this gesture for her. _What does he want?_ Her father still didn't want to accept Tom, but Edith noticed that Anthony didn't have any trouble at all. Even though he was of the upper class like she was, he accepted people for who they were. She had never noticed that about him before – but then she had never noticed anything about him before.

They had a nice wedding supper and then after conversation and good wishes they left for Locksley. Edith was as nervous as a cat, sitting in the car with Anthony on their drive to her new home.

_Good God!_ She thought_. What have I done? I should have gone to Scotland and figured things out, but instead I got scared and married Anthony Strallan. Obviously I have lost my mind. Everything I wanted and worked for is gone. I will end up being a mistress of an old estate and the wife of a man I don't even know. Well, I will make him wish he had never helped me in Rome. Why couldn't he have minded his own business? Why couldn't I have been smarter? If there is a hell on earth, then I am in it for the rest of my life._

She snapped out of her self-pity just as Anthony was pulling up to the front of Locksley. He had a small staff and they were waiting outside to greet them; Oakley, the butler who she imagined had been with the family since the Earth was cooling. Mrs. Bass; the cook who looked like she had been there forever too. Mrs. Sloan, the housekeeper and Sampson, the chauffeur rounded out the staff. There were two housemaids but no footman. Anna had been training Ethel, their former housemaid who had troubles of her own , to be her personal maid since Anna belonged to Mary_. Well why not_ , Edith thought_, her reputation isn't any better than_ _mine._

Edith had never really looked at Locksley before. She had been here once for tea before they were married, but she never cared or looked at the house closely. It was three stories tall, red brick, with white corner stones. _Good God! It looks like a gingerbread house. _The windows were large, floor to ceiling she imagined. She did remember how bright the rooms were because of the windows. The shrubbery around the house was manicured and the lawn was well kept. She closed her eyes and shook her head – _give me strength._

Walking inside, she took it all in for the very first time. The foyer was large and the main rooms exited off of it. The staircase was directly opposite the large front door. It was wide going up to the first landing where it split and went to the left and right. There was a huge window there and the light from it flooded the foyer. The house hadn't been updated in a long time, but the carpets on the floor were expensive and well kept. Well, one of her first jobs would be to get the foyer painted and the furniture recovered. The dining room, drawing room, library, morning room, Anthony's study, and a small room that had been used by Anthony's mother were all on the main floor.

_Well, I will have plenty to keep me busy,_ she thought. _Hopefully, we won't see much of each other._

She didn't even want to think about the second floor.

Anthony thanked the staff and guided her toward the drawing room. It too was a lovely room, needing some work. The settee and some of the chairs needed to be recovered, but all in all the room had been well kept.

"I asked Mrs. Bass to bake some cookies, he said as he motioned for her to sit down. "I thought we could have some champagne and talk."

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked nervously.

"I wanted to put your mind at ease about our marriage, Edith. I am a careful and patient man. I would never expect to claim my rights as your husband unless you wanted me to. As I mentioned to you before, companionship and friendship are very important in a marriage. But so is intimacy and closeness. That being said, I want you to know that if you ever think you might want. . . . to . . . .ah. . well . . .you know, seal our marriage, so to speak, all you have to do is ask."

Edith, the woman who had learned to control her emotions in any situation, blushed furiously. She couldn't believe what he was saying_. So, I am not desirable enough for you to come to me, I have to crawl to you. Hell will freeze over before that happens,_ her brain screamed. She couldn't think of anything to say, not even a well- aimed barb. He had completely taken the wind out of her sails.

"Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Sir Anthony," she croaked as he handed her a flute of champagne. " I too would like our marriage to be based on friendliness and companionship."

_Did I just say that? I think I am going to gag!_

"Excellent, he said. "Let's drink to our happiness and future together. And, by the way, my name is Anthony. You can drop the Sir."

_Now he is giving me lessons in etiquette_. She thought_. What else is on his mind?_

"One more thing before we head upstairs."

_Here it comes,_ she thought

This old house needs some updating. Since it is now your home I would expect you to decorate, paint, and do all those things that ladies like to do to make their homes comfortable and inviting. Spend as much money as you like, just don't paint the walls some ghastly color, like purple. Oh, and I would prefer that you not do anything in my library. I like it just the way it is." he finished, smiling that goofy smile again.

_Well ,that's it!_ She thought_. In less than five minutes he has managed to cover our intimate married life and assign me the job of re-doing his house. _ _Insufferable man!_

Edith Strallan, was flustered. He had completely caught her off guard. Somehow she had expected him to be all bumbling and awkward, thus giving her the upper hand immediately; but he wasn't, not at all, and he made her extremely nervous.

It suddenly dawned on her that Locksley was where he was most comfortable, most content, most sure of himself. From here he ruled his estate, made decisions, and yes she was sure where he had made up his mind to marry her. This un-nerved her. She would have to make sure that they didn't spend much time alone.

_Well, Edith_, her inner voice said. _Your husband is no fool. He isn't besotted with you. You are going to have to be on your toes from now on. Ha! Ha!_

Anthony smiled at her, took her glass and taking her hand led her up the stairs to the second floor.

_The gall, taking my hand without even asking._

The second floor was just as beautiful as the main floor. The wide carpet, that she suspected had been loomed especially for the stairs, ran the perimeter of the upper hallway. Stopping in front of the second door, he opened it and led her in.

The room was beautiful, even more so than her one at Downton. The walls were a pale blue and the furniture was blue and cream. A large window opposite the bed looked out over the back of the house toward the orchard.

"I hope you don't mind" he said. "I asked your mother what your favorite color was and when she said blue, I had the room painted and some of the furniture recovered. Of course if you don't like it, you can re-do it."

_What is this, some trick?_

"No," she said quite taken off guard and surprised that she was touched by the gesture. " I like it very much. Why did you go to so much trouble," she asked totally confused.

"You are my wife, Edith." He said simply." I wanted your room to be as you might like it on your first night."

_Wife, that word again. Doesn't he understand I don't want to be anyone's wife._

"Come! he said as he motioned her toward a door at the far end of the room. "This is your bathroom. I had all the bathrooms on this floor redone last year, wanted modern plumbing and all that." he said, laughing.

She had never seen a more beautiful bathroom. There was a large tub, much larger than the one at Downton and a sink opposite it. There was a long white marble counter big enough for towels and toiletries, not to mention a large blue plush rug on the white marble floor. At the opposite end was another door. Opening it she was in another bathroom, but this one much more masculine. Instead of a tub, there was a large shower, and men's toiletries were on the counter. It was a mirror image of hers, only it was Anthony's. She guessed that the door at the other end led into his room.

She turned around and saw Anthony staring at her. Embarrassed she said, "Very nice!"

"I had a shower installed instead of a tub because it is easier with my arm. If you ever need anything during the night, all you have to do is open the door to my room. Since the war I am a light sleeper." He said , and Edith noticed that for the first time all day, he was somewhat embarrassed.

_Good God, what an ego. Why would I ever need anything from him, especially during the night?_

"Well, he finished. "I will leave you now. I have some work to do downstairs. If you would like to have breakfast in bed all you have to do is ring the bell. Breakfast is always ready in the morning room at 9:00."

Thank you!" she said still looking around her bathroom not paying much attention to him.

"Goodnight then Edith. I hope you sleep well." With that he turned and left the room.

Walking back to her room, she noticed that Ethyl was already there.

"This is a beautiful house isn't it Milady," Ethyl commented.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Edith said with a faraway tone in her voice as she walked toward the window. It had been a very different day. She thought about other women who had been married today as well. Most likely they would be in bed with their husbands now, kissing, making love, and planning their futures. She looked down at her wedding ring. It wasn't just a plain gold band, it was a circlet of diamonds set in a platinum band. She was now a rich man's wife and he had bought her a wedding ring fitting her station. She held her hand out and watched how it sparkled in the light from the window_. I_ _imagine that Matthew will not give Mary anything as beautiful_, she thought.

But here she was standing alone in a lovely bedroom that her husband, the man she least wanted to marry ever, had done over for her. Tears stung at her eyes. She was starting a new life with a man who she had always considered boorish and dull. But he was neither. He was thoughtful and kind; something she had never taken the time to notice before. _Dammit, he isn't supposed to be thoughtful_ _and kind, he is supposed to be a dull as paint. _ And it somewhat bothered her that thoughtful and kind was a personality trait that she had buried deep inside her long ago.

"Milady, Ethyl said. "I want to thank you for this opportunity to serve you. Mrs. Crawley has been very kind to me since I gave up my little boy Charlie. She convinced me that if I paid attention I could do this job for you. I know that Anna has always been your maid, but this chance means everything to me. I want to do a good job."

"We will work things out together, Ethyl. We are both beginning something new."

Edith continued looking out her window toward the estates orchard. On the other side of her bathroom door was a handsome man; tall and charming in a somewhat shy awkward way. _What would it be like to kiss him,_ she thought . Drake's kisses were ardent. Gregson's were urgent and demanding and Pantene's had been , well she didn't quite know what they were. Soft, was the only word that came to mind. Edith blushed. She liked being kissed, liked it a lot. Liked the way kissing made her feel. But what about Strallan. She knew he had been married before so he certainly would know how. . . . . . . . . .

_Ugh!_ She thought. _I must be losing my mind to ever think about that_.

_He confuses you doesn't he dearie_, the voice said. _You haven't even been married a day and already you are wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Oh Edith, you are losing your grip._

As she headed back toward her bed and while Ethyl was helping her undress, Edith thought about what her mother had said about Anthony. Not the dull as paint thing or the thick as ditchwater comment, but Cora with a twinkle in her eye had told her to watch out for him.

"Still waters run deep, and they can have a strong undertow," Cora had said. "He might prove to be completely different than what you expect."


	6. Chapter 6

_**So the day to day business of being married begins. **_

_Edith_ did not sleep well on her wedding night. She tossed and turned, first kicking the covers off then pulling them tight around her. She got out of bed about 3:00 am and walked around her room. She felt funny but couldn't put a name to it. _Nervousness? No! What do I have to be nervous about? _ she thought. Going back to bed she dozed until the clock said 6:00 am.

She walked into her bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub. He said that he had redone all the bathrooms on the second floor last year. As much as she hated to admit it, Anthony was a modern man, not only on the estate, but in the house as well. He was a stickler for detail and somehow she knew that he had overseen everything that had been done – including her bedroom.

She turned around and turned on the water tap. The faucet was larger than the one at Downton so the water came out at a faster rate. Having not slept, her body ached from tossing and turning_. I am going to fill this up as far as I can, with as much hot water as I can, and just soak._

She noticed a beautiful bottle of bubble bath that had been set on the counter. Opening it, she put a few drops in the water and watched it bubble up. It had a wonderful smell – probably French. _Where did it_ _come from?_ She wondered. _Did Anthony arrange for it to be there_? Taking off her robe and nightgown, she slowly eased herself into the tub. The water was up as far as her neck and the warmth of it seemed to pull all the soreness from her. She eased her head back and closed her eyes.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Anthony entered looking confused and concerned. She immediately crossed her arms over her chest, although she knew with the bubble bath, he wouldn't be able to see anything anyway.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry, he stammered. " It's so early. I heard water running. What with the new plumbing and all I thought there might be a malfunction. I forgot that you were here."

_He forgot you were here,_ the voice laughed. _You are his wife and he forgot you were here._

Edith took one long look at him. He was barefoot, and only had pajama bottoms on. But she blushed when she looked at the rest of his body. He had his dressing gown tied loosely at his waist. He was very muscular and his chest and arms were covered with pale gold hair. She noticed a large scar peeking out of his robe on his right shoulder. _Probably where he was wounded_, she thought. But all she could do was stare.

"Would you please leave!" She finally said through clenched teeth.

"Of course, yes, please. . . .ah. . . . excuse my intrusion. He stammered as he made his way toward his door.

"Wait," she said. "Would you hand me the bar of soap, the washcloth, and a bath towel. I can't reach them from here."

Trying not to look at her Anthony unwrapped the soap and handed it to her along with putting the towel on the chair next to the tub.

"I am sorry," he said. " I would never intentionally intrude on your privacy."

"Please, Just leave, now," she said.

With that he left the room and for the first time that day, Edith rolled her eyes.

_Big oafish jerk! He was embarrassed. Well too bad, he shouldn't have been so stupid. Barging in here. Forgot I was here, the very idea._

She had gone back to bed after her bath and dozed until Ethyl woke her at 8:00. She chose a new grey morning dress with matching shoes, took one last look in the mirror and headed downstairs for her first breakfast with her husband. She would show him. She wouldn't hide in her room like some silly schoolgirl. . . . .

_Oh Happy Day!_ she thought.

It wasn't yet 9:00 and she was hoping that she would get to the morning room first, but since she hadn't asked which door off the foyer it was, by the time she entered Anthony was already sitting at the table reading the morning paper and half way through his breakfast.

"I thought you said you ate at 9:00" she said sarcastically.

"Well, I got up earlier than usual, so I just thought I would get an early start," he said smiling at her.

_Well aimed barb, Anthony,_ the voice said.

She rolled her eyes, heaved a sigh and went to the sideboard to get some breakfast. She was hungry. She hadn't eaten much the day before, so she filled her plate with at least one of everything that was offered. She sat down just as he said.

"Well, what do you plan to do today?"

_How about running away from home,_ she thought. But instead she smiled and said, "I hadn't thought much about it."

"I know that newly married couples go on honeymoon, but I thought we could put that off for a while until we get to know each other better", he said as he looked at her over his paper.

_A honeymoon_! _He must be crazy if he thinks I would ever go on a honeymoon with him. I don't even want to be married to him or anyone else, and what does he mean, get to know each other better._

"Well," he said as he folded his newspaper and napkin and got to his feet. "I have a lot of business to tend to today. In case you are wondering, the estate office is behind the house down by the worker cottages. I spend most mornings there, and most afternoons in the library or my study. If you need to find me for anything, those are the places to look."

_So he isn't going stay and have breakfast with me_, she thought. _And he claimed he was so good at_ being _married, Hah !_

As he started for the door he turned and said, "Have a good day, my dear."

"Don't call me that", she said looking daggers at him. "That is what my father calls my mother, and I hate it_." Michael called me that and now that phrase makes me sick,_ she thought.

Somewhat taken aback, Anthony stopped, looked at her, half smiled and said in a very slow voice filled with delight,

"All right then, what would you like me to call you? Darling? Sweetheart?

"Absolutely not! Have you lost your senses?" she fired back.

_Darling, sweetheart, indeed_. She thought.

"You can call me Edith or if you prefer Lady Strallan," she said forcing herself to look at him. She knew she was blushing.

"Well while we are on the subject of things we don't like, I would like it if you didn't roll your eyes and heave those sighs at me", he said looking her square in the eyes. "It is a very annoying habit."

"I didn't realize that I was so annoying. With all my bad habits, and tainted past, I am astounded that you married me at all!" she said, anger rising up.

_I am not going to start my day fighting with you Edith_, he thought.

"Let us make a pact. I won't call you any names of endearment, and you won't roll your eyes and sigh at me. Deal?" he said smiling.

I never make promises I can't keep."

"Good enough,"I will see you at lunch," he said as he opened the French doors and headed out.

_Very interesting, dearie. I would say you lost some ground there,_ the voice said.

_Nobody asked you_, she uttered under her breath as she sat there completely confused.


	7. Chapter 7

The story burst forth two weeks after the wedding. Coming down to breakfast, Edith saw the paper laying on the table, the page opened to the story. Anthony was nowhere to be seen. Sitting down and starting to read, Edith's face flushed a bright red and stayed that way for the duration of the article.

It was everything she had imagined it was going to be and worse. It started first with the thing about Bates. His wife, the divorce, his marrying Anna, and then the death of his ex-wife; all written in the most horrid and vivid detail.

Next came the story about Sybil and Branson. It was even worse; painting Sybil as a silly, privileged girl chasing the chauffeur and forcing him to marry her. Nothing was said of her ability as a nurse or how she had helped the wounded during the war. Of course Branson's politics came into play as well, especially since they left Downton (which added more fuel to the flame) to live and work like ordinary folk in Dublin.

Next came the story about the financial woes of Downton Abbey, how her father due to arrogance and stupidity had taken an old and prosperous estate and ruined it through mismanagement and poor investments.

And finally, she got to her story. It was awful! She never imagined it could be this bad. Starting with of all things the John Drake incident. She had never thought that Mrs. Drake would ever say anything, but then she thought , _money will loosen any tongue_. Thank God they didn't name him. He shouldn't lose his farm or the support of her father due to her indiscretion.

Next was the business about Michael Gregson. Since he had been the one to publish or sell this information, obviously he would come off looking like a wonderful man used by an aristocrat. There wasn't much detail, but enough to paint Edith as a flirtatious, scheming, and wanton woman using her place in society and her family name to initiate a relationship with him to get her articles published.

Next was the business that happened in Rome. Not just the fountain, but all the other little escapades she had been part of while being in the company of Reginald Pantene. No detail was left out.

But the worse part of all was the part about Anthony. Even he hadn't been spared. It was terrible. It painted him as an addled old fool marrying her thinkingt his name and position could protect her. It pointed out that her morals were lacking and she would bring ruin to her husband if she didn't cuckold him first. Tears were streaming down her face. She knew what she had done, but to have it all spelled out in black and white, for all of England to read was devastating. She had finally managed after all these years to beat Mary at something. What an accomplishment!

She felt sick!

_Where is Anthony?_ she asked herself frantically.

She wanted to run and hide. She was sure everyone on the estate had or was probably going to read that rag. If they thought her unsuitable for their Sir Anthony before, then this would certainly confirm everything they thought about her.

She paced and fidgeted most of the morning, not being able to concentrate on anything. When he did come in for lunch, she sat down next to him and said,

"Anthony, I am so sorry. I told you that this story would be terrible. I told you this would happen if you married me."

He turned and looked at her and said very calmly, "Men marry the women they deserve."

_What does that mean ?. . . . .marry the women they deserve. What kind of a riddle was that?_

Anger flashed across her face and she was about to rise when he reached out and gently took her hand.

"It's true, this wasn't quite what I was expecting, but now that it is out in the open, we can begin to deal with it; ride it out together so to speak. Tonight we have the dinner party at the Gervis'. We will go, you will hold your head high, and we will face the onslaught together," he said.

"I can't go. . . . . .I won't go. . . . .you can't make me go. Please Anthony I can't," she begged, her voice rising to a fever pitch.

"Yes, you can, and you will, he answered firmly. Wear that lovely dark blue dress of yours, you know the new one that you had made in Ripon. It is very becoming on you and you look beautiful in it. Looking good can give one confidence. You are not some gutter snipe Edith. You are the daughter of the Earl of Grantham and my wife. So you made a few mistakes. If I am not mistaken, all of the people who will be there have red blood not blue in their veins, and when cut, bleed red, just as you do. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. Everyone has taken a few missteps once or twice."

She didn't hear much of what he said after remarking on her blue dress.

_He thinks I look beautiful in my blue dress? she thought to herself_.

No one had ever complimented her before about how she looked in anything.

She had no answer. Her back was against the wall. She had lost control of her life and she was frantic. . Finally looking at him with tears in her eyes she said with her voice breaking,

"You are an idiot Anthony Strallan. Don't you know that all this mud is going to be flung up on you too? You are going to look like the biggest fool who ever lived for marrying me. Don't you care what people say or think about you?" she said her voice finally cracking with emotion.

Rising to his feet, he fixed her with those blue eyes of his, shrugged his shoulders, and said,

"Not particularly. They don't pay my bills or make my decisions. And maybe if you didn't worry so much about what other people think, you might just be a happier person."

With that he left the room but not before he turned and said to her gently, "Be ready by 6:00."

Sitting at the table with her head in her hands, she let the tears slide down her cheeks. She would have to pull herself together. The people there would be old friends of Anthony and Mauds. She wouldn't embarrass him. She would hold her head high, and face each challenge as it came.

However, the evening was not as bad as she had expected. Everyone gave her the respect she was owed, being Anthony's wife. If any of these people had read the article, they didn't let on. But she thought it was probably because of their friendship for Anthony and not her, after all they had been his friends for ages. Even when she was left alone with the other eight women after dinner, they were all cordial and pleasant. They asked all kinds of questions .Did she like living at Locksley, was she going to redo the place, how Maud had never been interested much in decorating, were they going on honeymoon and if so where, had she met his tenants yet? Questions? Questions? Questions?

Her head began to ache and she excused herself and went to the washroom. There she wet a small hand towel and put it against the back of her neck. Her felt as if she was sitting on a knife's edge. Waiting for some well - placed, backhanded remark had brought on an anxiety headache. However upon leaving the washroom, she heard one of the ladies say to the other, "Well you know the old saying, eyes wide open before the wedding, half closed after. She knew they were talking about Anthony and the probability that she would cheat on him. She wanted to say some scathing remark to them but stopped not wanting to cast any more pity on Anthony for marrying her.

When she got back to the drawing room, Lady Gervis who had heard the exchange between her friends pulled Edith aside and said kindly, "Lady Edith, please don't pay any attention to what you just heard. Gossip is alright, it's the moralizing that is in poor taste. People say too much as it is sometimes. You have done remarkably well tonight. You need not be ashamed. You are Anthony's wife and therefore Hugh's and my friend as well. As she patted Edith's arm she said, "You know, he loves you very much!"

She had to admit to herself she was never so glad to see anyone in her life as she was when Anthony finally came into the room with the other men.

He came over to her and whispered, "How are you doing? Have you zinged anyone yet?"

"Almost, but not quite. How much longer do we have to stay? I have a headache." She complained.

"Just a little longer. We want to leave when everyone else does; don't want them to talk about us behind our backs", he laughed.

"They have already started talking behind our backs, well maybe not yours, but certainly mine," she answered.

Luckily she only had to endure the tedious conversations for about another fifteen minutes when Lady Webster complained of a headache and suggested to her husband that perhaps they should start for home.

Everyone else took the clue and were on their way within fifteen minutes. Edith had never paid much attention to fresh air before, but tonight it never felt so good. Thanking Lady Gervis for the lovely evening she was taken aback when Claudia Gervis said.

"Lady Edith, we have a committee that helps your cousin Isobel Crawley with the refugee problem. We have many in Ripon and York, and would be delighted if you would consider joining our little band. We always need new members with new ideas. I will send you a note when next we meet, and look forward to seeing you. I know that you would be a wonderful addition to our group."

A committee. She had never joined anything in her life. She had been caught off guard, and didn't know how to say_, thank you, but I can't. _Now she knew how mice and rats felt when caught in a trap – no way out.

She said nothing on the way home in the car. She felt sick. All she wanted to do was go home and go to bed and not get out for at least a year. And Anthony, he just stood there and let her get roped into joining that blasted committee, didn't say a word, just smiled that lopsided smile of his as he helped her into the car. _God help me_! She thought.

Walking into Locksley she said good night to Anthony, and walked slowly upstairs. She turned and looked at him as he was talking to Oakley before he headed into the library for his nightcap. Lady Gervis had said that he loved her. _Why would he love me, he doesn't_ _even know who I really am_, she thought.

She stopped at her door and leaned her head against it. _Maybe I could put forth a little more effort and_ _we could become friends_, she thought. He had mentioned about becoming friends when he was giving her his lengthy proposal. _Heaven knows, I could use a friend just now_. And as much as Edith hated to admit it, she knew that Anthony would be a loyal and steadfast friend, he was that kind of man.

Anthony sat in his favorite wing back chair in front of the fire.

Sometimes love comes softly ,like a spring breeze billowing the curtains at an open window. Once it starts it doesn't stop and he knew it had _whooshed _right over him. He smiled to himself. He had fallen in love with his wife. That was his truth. He had waited a long time to feel this way again. He had only felt this way once before; twenty four years earlier, in 1896, in Paris. Her name was Claudine.


	8. Chapter 8

And so the weeks rolled by. Edith met with Mrs. Bass, the cook and between the two of them came up with menus for each month. She found out that Anthony liked the most god-awful food; liver and onions, chicken livers, bangers, ugh. Well, it was okay for him to eat those things once in a while, but more fish, pork, and chicken began to show up. Because there was such a huge kitchen garden at Locksley, fresh vegetables became a mainstay. Roasting them gave them a wonderful flavor and much to Edith's surprise, Anthony liked the new dinner menu. She told Mrs. Bass to make those savory dishes for him at lunch and because he had a sweet tooth she made sure made there was some kind of dessert each night and cookies or some other sweet waiting for him in the afternoon.

She often asked herself why she did these things, but the only answer that came to her was, _It was what_ _wives were supposed to do, period!_

She knew that wives were supposed to do other things too, but she didn't want to think about that.

She had started working on the house as well. She started with the foyer first, because it was the first room that anyone would see when they came to the house; although other than her mother and sisters, they didn't have many visitors. The chairs were brushed and cleaned and upon looking at them Edith decided they really didn't need to be recovered. The new color on the walls, made everything look better. The huge chandelier was cleaned and once all the dust was gone and the crystals washed, the light sparkled. The floors were polished and the rugs cleaned. When everything was done, she went outside and came back in. The foyer was bright and airy. _A happy welcoming_ room, she thought.

She had also tackled the morning room and drawing room. She had taken over the small little room off of Anthony's office. It was here she met with workman and had her paint and fabric samples laid out. She liked this little room. Oakley had told her that Anthony's mother the Lady Elizabeth used this room to do her correspondence and take care of her obligations regarding the estate. She asked him whether the Lady Maud had used the room but he told her that Maud hadn't liked it much. Well she liked it and when everything was finished this would be her haven, where she could read, write letters and in general be left alone.

So by the end of the third month the house had taken on a whole new look. If her arms had been longer she would have patted herself on the back. She was rather good at this decorating thing.

Anthony seemed to think so too. One morning while eating breakfast, he took out a blue velvet box and handed it to her.

"What is this? She asked.

"Just a three month anniversary present", he said smiling. "Also, a thank you for how wonderful you are making this old house look.

She opened the box and gasped. Inside was the most beautiful strand of pearls she had ever seen. They were luminous and all the same size; 8mm she guessed. She figured that the strand was about 50 cms. long, a perfect length and the clasp was in the shape of a figure eight, with inset diamonds. She knew that Anthony had paid a lot of money for them, this quality wasn't cheap and she smiled secretly to herself knowing that Mary would probably never have anything so beautiful.

She didn't know what to say. She had never been given such a beautiful gift – ever.

"Here, why don't you try them on" he said as he took them from the box and moved around behind her.

His hand brushed against her neck and she felt a shiver go down her spine as he closed the clasp.

_His hands are cold, stupid _she thought.

She got out of her chair and went to the mirror that hung over the sideboard. They were beautiful. She saw his reflection in the mirror, so turning around she smiled at him and said,

"Thank you. They are absolutely breathtaking."

"So I gather you like them?" He asked kiddingly.

"Yes, yes I do. I will wear them tonight when we go to dinner at Downton. I'll wear my new black dress. They will really stand out. Oh! Thank you again." She said with joy as she turned and looked in the mirror again.

Anthony stood there like his legs had grown roots. He had actually done something to make Lady Edith Strallan, of Yorkshire County happy. He liked to see her smile. Secretly he wondered if she had ever smiled much while growing up. Oh he knew as the daughter of the Earl of Grantham that she was spoiled and pampered, but he wondered if she had ever been truly happy. He knew she had a temper, he had been on the receiving end of it at least twice since they had married, but he wondered about how she must have felt each year as the annual season came and went and no one offered for her. Is that why she had encased herself in the cold façade of indifference that she showed to everyone? The cold, dismissing attitude that made people cringe and not want to be around her. The attitude that had led to her downfall.

He was happy knowing that if anything happened to him she would be his sole heir, inherit Locksley and everything that went with it. He had updated his will before they were married and each year he put aside a substantial sum of money to pay the estate taxes when he died. There would be nothing in her way to keep her from inheriting. She didn't know it, but someday she would be a very wealthy woman; wealthier even than Mary, and secretly he was happy about that.

"Well, I have work to do," he said as he headed toward the door.

Edith followed him, stopped him and spontaneously put her hand on his good arm and gave it a squeeze. It was the only sign of affection that had passed between them since they married.

"Thank you for my beautiful present," she said again happiness showing all over her face, and thank you for standing by me with regards to the scandal.

He would have kissed her then but reason stopped him. _One step at a time_ he told himself. _One step at a_ _time._

Dinner that night was the same as it always was at Downton, but Anthony was happy when they walked in and Edith's mother and grandmother gushed over her new pearls. _Well, it seems I have done_ _something right,_ he thought to himself.

He watched her at dinner, sitting there among the family. Isobel, Matthew, Mary, Sybil and her husband Tom, Lord and Lady Grantham and of course the Dowager Countess. Sybil was now six months pregnant and he was glad he had sent the money for them to come for his and Edith's wedding. He liked Tom, liked him a lot. He imagined that his days at Downton were long and tedious, so he made a mental note to invite him over to Locksley. Talking to Tom, Anthony realized that he was a very intelligent young man and knew much about engines. He might just offer him a job on the estate as chief mechanic; he would float that idea past Edith later. She would most likely enjoy having Sybil living close by. It probably wouldn't set well with Robert, but Anthony didn't care. He liked Tom and would do whatever he could to help him.

After dinner, Robert asked Anthony and Matthew to join him in the library as he wanted their ideas on some estate business. Matthew had come into a large sum of money and he had given much of it to Robert to help with the financial difficulties of the estate. But in return he felt that he should have a say in the day to day decisions that were being made; after all it was his money and he was the heir.

Anthony always felt awkward when R & M (as he called them) went at it; Robert wanting to keep things the same and Matthew because of his position wanting to move the estate in a more modern direction. It seemed that when they were always butting heads Anthony was the one who could calmly make them see both sides and come to somewhat of a compromise, at least for a little while.

Sybil was tired so she and Tom had retired upstairs. That left Cora, Violet, Isobel, Mary and Edith alone in the drawing room.

Edith was thankful that no mention of the scandalious article was mentioned. She had talked to her mother and Sybil about it after it was published. She and Anthony had been seen many times in public, and her mother had told her that she had heard absolutely nothing in the village. It seemed that Anthony had been right. The gossips had found new fodder.

"I noticed your pearls at dinner," Isobel said looking at Edith. "They are lovely."

"Yes, jewels for doing ones wifely duty is a nice compensation," Violet stated.

"We don't". . . . . . . . but Edith caught herself in the nick of time.

"It isn't like that between us, Edith retorted. "Anthony isn't that way. He gave them to me for our third month anniversary that's all, and because he said he liked what I was doing to the house."

_Dear God! Edith_, she thought_. _ _Nothing like hinting to the family that you and Anthony don't sleep together._

But Violet wasn't one to be put off. " You don't what? Well, I suppose Anthony will be expecting an heir eventually. He will want to leave that huge estate and all its money to a son, I imagine."

With that Edith jumped to her feet. Looking at the women she said, "I don't feel well, too much food I think. We don't eat like this at Locksley. I am going to get Anthony and we are going home."

With that she left the drawing room at full speed and headed toward the library. Throwing open the door she stood there and yelled, "Anthony!"

Robert, Matthew and Anthony were deep in discussion but when they heard her voice, turned and gaped at her. Anthony was at her side immediately.

"Whatever is wrong? What can I do?" he asked concerned.

"Take me home immediately," she said through clenched teeth.

"Of course," he said taking her elbow and leading her out to the foyer. He looked at Cora, Mary and Isobel but only saw expressions that said, _We don't know what's the matter with her_. But looking at the Dowager Countess' face he thought he understood. The old pit viper had probably said something about their married life, possibly trying to pry into something that was none of her business; and it had set Edith on edge. Their life had been going so well, he thought. Edith had seemed to relax more. She hadn't been as edgy as she was when they first married. He even thought she might like him a little.

_Very little_, he thought.

But he suddenly knew that he was back at square one. All the good ground that he felt they had gained had been taken back by some remark, he just knew it.

And he also knew he would never find out what it was. They would drive home in silence, she would go to her room and slam her door (which was her signal that she was mad), and he would go to the library.

He wasn't disappointed. Everything happened just as he expected.


	9. Chapter 9

_**One Interesting Day**_

The next few days were difficult at best. Edith's mood since the dinner at Downton hadn't changed. She was sullen at breakfast and hardly said two words to Anthony at dinner. She took long walks, and sometimes Anthony worried when she was gone too long. She didn't know the land around Locksley that well and it would be easy for her to get lost. She always found her way home but, walking didn't seem to help her mood.

_An heir, of course he would expect an heir_, she thought. _How stupid of me not to realize that_. The guilt she felt about not wanting to be his wife totally filed her with anger and remorse. He tried so hard, always even tempered, and all she did was ignore him most of the time. How long they could go on like this she didn't know. Her nerves were stretched to the breaking point.

He was so good to her. He had forced her to go to the dinner at the Gervis' that was true, but in thinking back on it, he had been right, it had been the best thing to do. Because of him she wasn't a social outcast. No further articles appeared in any paper, and when they appeared in public together, people were courteous and respectful, at least to her face. _Why am I always angry at him, why can't I do better by him_, she thought. But no answer came. Her previous life had frozen her heart, and she was mad because it wasn't his fault.

One morning at breakfast, Anthony put down his paper, looked at Edith whose nose was stuck in a fashion magazine, and said,

"Edith, would you like to go with me to Ripon today?"

Slowly putting her magazine down, turning and fixing him with one of her blank stares, she replied,

"Why would I want to do that?

"Well, I ordered a new piece of equipment. It has arrived in Ripon and I wanted to go check it out. I thought you might want to get out of the house and go with me. We could get lunch and make a day of it.

_He knows that I don't like to go out during the day_. _It is bad enough to go out in the evening. I just want to stay home. Why does he keep wanting to spend time alone with me. It is so annoying._

"I don 't think so, not today. I have many things that need to be done around here," she said as she again started to read the magazine . "And besides, there is that large refugee fundraising gala in York on Saturday night. Remember, you told the Gervis' we would be there! I have some things that need to be finished for that. It's your fault you know that I don't have any free time. You just stood there and didn't help me get out of being on Lady Gervis' committee. I am sure you have noticed how many meetings I have had to go to in the last few weeks."

"Very well!" he said as he slammed his paper down on the table. "Heaven forbid that you should change your busy schedule for me," he said leaving through the French doors and slamming them behind him. He didn't even say good-bye to her. For the first time in three months, Edith saw Anthony mad, and it scared her.

Edith flinched. She knew deep down that she had gone too far this time. _Why can't I be nice,_ she thought as she put her face in her hands.

Anthony clenched his fist as he walked toward the estate office. Everything he tried, anything he suggested was always flung back in his face. The only time she showed any sign of friendliness was when he had given her the pearls. For one brief moment, she seemed happy. He had bought them for her because he had wanted to, not because he had felt any obligation to do so. Why wouldn't she open her eyes and see that they could have a happy life if she would only meet him half way. He loved her so. All he wanted to do was to make her happy, but she fought him every step of the way.

For Edith, the day seemed to drag on and on. Each time she looked at one of the many clocks in the house, it was only a few minutes difference from the last time she looked. She paced around the drawing room sitting and then standing. Anthony had so much estate business lately that he usually ate a light lunch out in the office. Oakley took it out to him around 1:00. Maybe she could take it out to him to make up for the way she had acted at breakfast.

_No_, she thought_. It would just make me look foolish and I wouldn't be able to apologize in front of his workers._ _I will wait until 3:00 when he comes in and works in the library. Then maybe we can talk. Yes, that is what I will do_.

She hadn't spent much time in his library mostly because it was so hard to move around. There were books everywhere, and he had made such a fuss about her not doing anything to this room that she just left it alone. But now sitting here by herself, she realized what a lovely room it was. Bookcases covered all the walls and the shelves were filled to the brim. She laughed to herself when she saw the many catalogs scattered across the floor. Somehow she knew that he knew exactly what each one was about. _What a mess!_ She thought. _He really_ _does need a wife,_ and suddenly she blushed.

It didn't take long to bore Edith Strallan. She had nurtured this trait since she had been about ten. She had always thought life should be exciting, but living out in the middle of nowhere, it had proved to be dull. Schoolwork, reading, needlework, writing letters, doing charity work, all these things and more were so tiresome. Now here she was in her husband's library bored to death waiting for him to come in from the office, just so she could apologize and smooth things over.

_Do I really care about his feelings?_ she thought.

And for the first time in three months she gave herself an honest answer_. _

_Yes, I do care about his_ _feelings._

_Well,_ she thought_. I might as well look around and see if he has any books that I might like._

Walking around the room she noticed that the books were arranged in order of what they were. Books of poetry were together alphabetized by author_. Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less_, she sighed. The same held true for the classics, novels, and the books on the sciences; mathematics, physics, chemistry as well as architecture, engineering and agriculture. She was impressed. This was a wonderful library, not as big as the one at Downton, but excellent in its own way. Walking around the room one small section caught her eye. It held books that didn't fit any of the other categories. As she ran her fingers along the spines, she stopped at one small book that looked like it didn't have more than a hundred, maybe two hundred pages in it at the most. She gently pulled it out and noticed that it was very old and about the size of Anthon's hand. It was bound in some sort of linen and she couldn't make out the title. Opening it she found an inscription,

_My Dearest, Darling , Anthony,_

_May this_ _little book bring __you__ much __happiness._

_Claudine – 1896_

Well, she didn't like the familiarity of that greeting, but intrigued, Edith opened it and gasped. Each page had a drawing of a man and woman in a different intimate sexual position.

Each position was described in detail, with a name and a complete text of how to get the maximum pleasure out of it. She knew that her face was burning red but she couldn't put the little thing down. It was as if it was glued to her hand. And looking at these pictures and reading the accompanying text made her body feel odd; her breasts were beginning to tingle and she had a warm feeling between her legs.

_What was Anthony, her dull, boorish, Anthony doing with a book like this? And who was this Claudine_? she wondered; and for one brief moment, she felt jealous.

But she didn't have time to ponder any of this because she heard his voice out in the hall. She didn't have time to put the book back on the shelf, so she jammed it in the pocket of her skirt and flung herself down in a chair just as he opened the door and came in.

"Edith", he said caught somewhat off guard seeing her there." I didn't expect to see you here."

Edith couldn't take her eyes off him as he walked in carrying some new catalogs. He put them down on a small table next to his favorite chair then turned and looked at her. He didn't look anything like he had earlier in the day. His shirt was unbuttoned( at least three or four buttons she thought) at the neck, and his sleeves were rolled up. She had never seen him like this except for their first morning together when he had barged into her bathroom. His hair was tousled and she again noticed the pale hair on his chest and arms. She suddenly felt hot, and she couldn't breathe. She felt as if she was having some kind of attack. "What can I do for you," he asked.

_You can kiss me and then ravish me on the floor of this room_, she thought to herself. That awful little book was making her think about all the feelings she had tried to suppress. She felt as if it was burning a hole in her pocket and that at any minute she would burst into flames.

She knew she was breathing faster than normal, but the way he looked, well she couldn't help it. He was the most handsome man she had ever seen – and he was her husband.

Rising slowly to her feet, and holding onto the chair for balance, she took a deep breath and said, "Anthony, I am sorry about this morning, about the way I acted. There was no excuse for my behavior. I would enjoy going to Ripon with you and making a day of it. I can change things around s perhaps we could go tomorrow? Let me know."

And with that she left the library, sure that she was leaving a trail of ashes in her wake.

Running up the stairs to her room she fell on her bed, her breath coming hard and fast. That terrible (was it really so terrible) little book was calling to her. Rolling over, she took it out of her pocket and propped herself up on her pillows and started to look at all those. . . .those. . . . most interesting pictures.

Edith knew that a well bred woman like herself would never look at a book like this_. Well maybe I'm not_ _as well bred as I thought_. Women of her class were never taught anything good about sex, only how to endure it. But somehow this book was different. The pictures when she looked at them closely after getting over her initial shock showed both the men and women with smiles on their faces. And as she turned the pages and read the texts she suddenly realized that this book explained how men and women could live in harmony with each other. Sexual relations was just one piece of a puzzle that when put together with everything else could result in a happy, fulfilled life.

She rolled over on her pillow and closed her eyes.

_Maybe I am a slut after all, _she thoughtheaving a huge sigh._ Only a slut would enjoy a book like this, and I am going to enjoy reading every page of it. _


	10. Chapter 10

_**A Most Unusual Day**_

She was surprised the next day when Sampson drove them into Ripon. The way Anthony had put it to her, they were going to go by themselves._ Well_, she thought, _he never makes himself very clear._

She didn't know exactly why she had agreed to come, guilt she supposed because of the way she had been treating him. His arm must have been bothering him because he was wearing his sling. He never told her how he had come to be wounded and she didn't ask. Edith imagined that if he ever wanted to talk about it, he would tell her. Their life together was strange anyway. They had breakfast together and then didn't see each other until the end of the day when they had tea and ate dinner. Sometimes she would tell him how she was coming along in freshening up the house, but in reality they didn't talk about much of anything. Usually after dinner they would adjourn to the drawing room for a short while, then she would say good-night and he would go to the library. A boring life, just like she knew it would be.

However, when they got to Ripon he suddenly became animated. Sampson drove them to a farm machinery dealer, where Anthony got out and went inside. Edith waited in the car with Sampson until Anthony came back, helped her out of the car and told Sampson that he could leave.

"Leave, what do you mean leave", Edith said somewhat confused. "If Sampson leaves, how are we supposed to get home?"

"Don't worry about that just now," Anthony answered as he steered her into the building.

The building was large, much larger on the inside than it looked like from outside. Edith had never seen so much machinery before. There were threshers, tractors, harvesters, with all kinds of attachments for them; everything a modern well run farm would need was here.

Waiting for Anthony to finish up his business, she walked around looking at the machinery. _The local farms must be doing very well for Mr. Webster to stock all of this inventory,_ she thought. It was too bad that her father could not see the importance of modernization. She was just wandering around and not really looking at anything when she heard Mr. Webster say to Anthony,

"Sir Anthony, your delivery is in the back. I think you will be very pleased."

"Edith come and look at our new purchases," he said as he took her arm ,led her outside and jestered toward two automobiles (she thought they were autos) parked side by side.

"Well, what do you think of our new car and truck?"

They were both alike, but one was a car and the other was a car with a large metal box on the back.

"Very nice," she said. "What are they and why did you buy them?"

First Anthony led her to the truck. He explained that he had seen it in an American catalog that he subscribed to and decided to order one. He explained how much more efficient it would be to have this little truck to carry things between the tenant farms , the estate, the village and Ripon, than the horses, wagons, and lorrys they used now. He continued to tell her that if this one worked out as he hoped, he was going to order another.

"Aren't they expensive? I mean to have them shipped over here from America?" she asked as she watched him.

"Money is no object, not when efficiency is the end result. This little truck is going to make things run much smoother, like a well- oiled machine," He answered and she smiled to herself noticing that he looked like a little boy with a new toy.

Suddenly he took her arm and led her to the other vehicle.

"And this, he said, is your new car. It is a Model T Runabout. When I bought the truck, I bought the Runabout too. The Rolls is far too big for you to drive and I worry when you are out in it that you are going much too fast. Remember I told you I would keep you safe. I wanted you to be able to go anywhere you wanted and not have to rely on Sampson. This little car will get you wherever and whenever you want to go. It is totally yours. When the weather is nice, like today, you can put the top down. When it is cloudy or rainy, you can put it up."

Edith was speechless. Even her inner voice had nothing to say. Here was the cutest little car she had ever seen. It was shiny black and although she hated to admit it, it was love at first sight. Her own car. As terrible and distant as she was to him, he ordered and had shipped from America - a car for her.

"The reason I sent Sampson on his way is I thought you might like to drive us home in the Runabout."

"You're going to let me drive it? She asked as she ran her hand over the smooth, shiny black fender.

"Of course, it is your car." He answered in a somewhat confused voice as if she hadn't understood him when he had told her that it was for her.

"I am going to finish up with Webster, sign some papers, and then we will be on our way", he said beaming at her and walking back into the building.

Edith felt tears well up in her eyes. Why did he do things like this? She wasn't his wife like she should be and here he was buying her something like this.

They had been married almost four months and not once had he kissed her, really kissed her. Oh he gave her the customary peck on the cheek when they were at Downton or in company where it might be expected. They had very little physical contact other than the hand at her elbow to guide her along, or her arm through his whenever they walked in public. He never hinted or suggested that they might try to be husband and wife. She remembered what he had said on their wedding night; if she ever wanted to share his bed, all she had to do was ask.

Even if that little book back in her bedroom gave her dreams of what it might be like to be with him, her pride would never allow her to ask. She didn't know how to come right out and say it. Women of her class were supposed to be indifferent, weren't they? And what would she do if he suddenly came to her? Could she open her heart and let him in?

Deep in her soul she knew that she really wasn't the woman she had become. She had worked hard to become like Mary, and when she thought she had succeeded she didn't like herself much. She knew she really wasn't that cold heartless person she displayed to others. She knew deep inside that she wanted what other women had; a husband who loved her, a happy marriage, children. As she walked around her little car she looked back at him over her shoulder, she knew that although he hadn't started out as the man of her dreams, he was fast becoming the man she dreamed about each night.

She leaned against the car and watched him. He had taken off his hat, and the wind was blowing his hair. He had a handsome face she had to admit, thin lips and those sapphire blue eyes that seemed to caress her whenever he looked at her. It was as if they could see past her façade and into her soul. And he was so tall. His clothes fit him well, and when he was in formal dinner clothes she thought he outshone all the other men who were around.

Suddenly she snapped to because he had finished his business with Webster and was walking toward her. Handing her a key he smiled that quirky smile of his and said, "Well, let's take this little Runabout out for a spin"

"Her hands were shaking when she put the key into the ignition, pushed on the starter, put it in gear and slowly drove off the back lot. She was driving slowly and people stopped and looked at the little car. She somehow knew that she probably had the only one in Yorkshire. Once they left Ripon she relaxed her grip on the steering wheel and settled into a nice easy speed. She suddenly realized that it didn't go very fast.

"Does it go any faster than this?" she asked Anthony

"Oh, I think it might go a little faster, but Edith this is a small car with a small engine. It will never go as fast as the Rolls. And besides, I didn't want you to have a car that you could speed around in and risk the chance of getting hurt. No, this Little T is the perfect car for you. You can drive all over the place, it doesn't use much gas, and I will have peace of mind knowing that you are driving a car that will keep you safe."

Suddenly a soft voice whispered to her_, he wants to keep you safe. Open your heart Edith,_ the _man loves you._

Suddenly she pulled over to the side of the road and said, "Anthony, if your arm doesn't hurt too much would you drive the rest of the way. You should have a chance to try it out. Who knows, you might like it better than the Rolls and somehow with all the excitement, I am rather nervous.

They had left Ripon with the top down and barely made it back to Locksley before the rain started. Letting her off by the front door, he drove the car around back and pulled it into the garage where the other vehicles were parked. Sampson had made it back before them and told Anthony that the parcel he had picked up in Ripon was in the house.

As he entered the house and made his way to the foyer, he noticed Oakley, Edith and Mrs. Sloan eyeing the large box.

"Anthony, Mrs. Sloan said that Sampson brought this in when he returned with the car. You are full of surprises today, what is it?" Edith said turning to him and putting her hands on her hips.

Putting his arm around Mrs. Sloan he said. "Mrs. Sloan, this is a new Hoover – a vacuum. It is the latest thing in cleaning. It is going to make it easier and faster to clean all the rugs and floors in the house. I have ordered another one for the second floor because it is rather heavy and Lily and Maggie would have trouble carrying it up the stairs. What is the purpose of having a modern estate if the main house isn't modern too?"

With that he unpacked the box, plugged it in and proceeded to show the three people staring at him just how it worked. Edith just shook her head and thought to herself,

_What kind of a man is he? Look at him pushing that thing around, telling Mrs. Sloan all about it. Another new modern contraption_ _and a loud one at that._

But looking at Mrs. Sloan and Oakley she thought_, they love him. He is like the benevolent father that_ _takes care of everyone. He even takes care of me, and asks for nothing in return._

Finally he turned the thing off and handed the directions to Oakley.

Spying Edith he said, "I have some tenant business that I need to tend too, you don't mind do you? I know that we were going to make a day of it, but with the rain, maybe you would give me a rain check," He chuckled at that.

"Go ahead, she answered. I will have Mrs. Bass bring you something to eat in your office. I have some paint samples I still need to make a decision on, and also some final arrangements for the Refugee Fundraiser Saturdday night in York. You haven't forgotten have you?" And again she said," You know the committee that you so gallantly allowed me to be pushed into."

Looking at her seriously for the first time that day, he came close to her and said, "I know you don't want to go to the Fundraiser, but Edith if we can make it through Saturday night, then I know everything will be alright and the scandal will definitely be behind us. When you walk in, people will know that you have nothing to hide. It is a huge affair and we will do just fine – I know it."

Smiling she turned and started to walk toward the kitchen door but suddenly turned and walked back to him, put her arms around him, hugged him and said,

"Thank you Anthony for my beautiful little car. No one in all my life has ever given me such a wonderful gift. I can hardly wait to show it off.

She had completely taken him off guard. If he had been quicker he would have put his arms around her as well, but she was too fast and had turned and headed toward the kitchen before he could move.

_Well the day is still young_, he thought as he smiled and went into the library.

A/N: The Ford Model T Runabout was one of the most popular models produced by Ford. My father was a classic car collector and had a Runabout for about 10 years. He and my mother used to go to all the old car rallys in it. it was a very "cute" car, and my father let me drive it a few times, but never by myself. The truck model with the steel box didn't really make its debut until about 1926, but I fudged a little and made it available to Anthony in 1920. Knowing him, he would probably have purchased the prototype if he could.


	11. Chapter 11

The afternoon moved along at a snail's pace. Anthony, true to form worked in his office and library. Edith forced herself to come to a decision about the remaining paint and upholstery samples. She had felt funny ever since they had returned from Ripon. She couldn't get Anthony out of her mind.

Putting down her samples she went upstairs and changed into slacks and a sweater. She noticed the little book laying where she had left it earlier that day. Putting it under her pillow so Ethyl wouldn't notice it, she put on her coat and threw a scarf over her head. Maybe if she went for a walk she could shake this funny feeling.

She told Oakley where she was going and left through the back of the house. She walked down the yard nodding to the workers as she went toward the garage. She wasn't going to take the Little T out for a drive, she didn't want to get caught if it started to rain again, but she climbed in it and just sat. It was quiet there in the garage, a good place to sit and think. She put her head back on the seat, closed her eyes and listened to the rhythm of Locksley. She heard the workers talking and laughing, the striking of the anvil in the blacksmith shop, wagons moving from one area to another. Locksley was a living, breathing place; bustling but in a calm way.

Sampson had been cleaning and buffing the Rolls but came over to her when he noticed her sitting in the car.

"Good day, Milady," he said smiling as he tipped his hat. "I was just cleaning the dirt off the big car and then I was going to wipe down yours. You know, he continued, Sir Anthony was so excited when he told me he had ordered this car for you. I think it scares him when you drive the Rolls. He knows you like to drive fast and he told me that this car would be perfect for you. It doesn't go as fast as the Rolls and it would keep you safe. "

_He wants to keep me safe. Even my own father never seemed to be concerned about my safety_,_ whether_ _with men or machines_, she thought.

"How long have you worked here Sampson? "

"Almost fifty years, Milady. Sir Anthony's father hired me when I was sixteen years old. I started working with the reapers, learning how to keep the parts oiled and moving. When Sir Anthony took over the estate, he bought newer equipment and I learned how to take care of them. He told me I had a real knack working with things with moving parts. Then he bought the Rolls, and I learned how to tinker with the engine. One day he just asks me if I would like to be his chauffeur ."

Edith smiled to herself. "Does Sir Anthony know everyone on the estate, what they're good at doing, what their skills are?"

"Oh yes Milady. He has even sent some of the younger lads to school in York to learn about the new tractors and harvesters. He wants to make sure that everything works as it should and that everybody is doing the jobs that they can do best. "

"Thank you, Sampson. Take good care of my little car," she whispered as she climbed out of the car and headed down the path.

She thought about Anthony as she walked on; how good he was and how handsome he was. He wasn't old, just seventeen years older and because of all the work he did around the estate, even with his weak arm, he was in good physical shape. He didn't care much for clothes, preferring to wear old work clothes around the place, and the jackets and sweaters he favored could use some improving. She knew she could spiffy him up a bit, and she knew that he wouldn't give her any sass if she bossed him around and forced him to get some new clothes. Oh he might huff a bit, but somehow she knew that he would give in to her. She smiled at that. After all hadn't he said that she could boss him around?

She knew she didn't hate him, she never had. She had been angry with herself for trying to be so like Mary, and having it backfire on her. Because of her carelessness she had almost ruined herself. When she finally calmed down she knew that marriage had been her only reasonable way out, and she had convinced herself that she could make it through this marriage, this life with him, putting forth as little effort as possible.

But that wasn't possible with marriage. She finally understood that. Marriage, a real one, takes your whole heart and a great deal of effort. Selfish people can't pull it off, and she knew deep down that she wasn't a selfish person. She had been kind and loving once, but had buried those traits deep inside long ago and she wondered if she could ever get them back?

Suddenly everything became crystal clear. It was as if she was having an epiphany . She knew she wanted a real marriage. She wanted the friendship and companionship he had talked about , and yes even the closeness . And she felt hot when she silently admitted she wanted intimacy with him too. He treated her so well and he had kept all the promises he had made when proposing to her. How stupid she had been. Real happiness had been in front of her all the time and she kept pushing it away with both hands.

She was happier living here with Anthony than she had ever been in her whole life. He noticed her, complimented her on her clothes and if she had done her hair differently. He talked to her, discussed current events, music and literature with her. And although she tried hard not to, he even made her laugh occasionally. He didn't irritate her like he had done when they were first married. But when she thought about it, maybe the reason he didn't irk her anymore is because she was the one who had slowly changed.

She had been aggravated with herself so often that under the guise of doing everyday tasks, she constantly looked for him. _Why do I care where he is or what he is_ _doing _she thought so many times. But she did care. She couldn't get him out of her thoughts. When she closed her eyes, his face floated there , and his voice, that deep rich baritone voice sounded in her ears. What was there about him that kept drawing her in closer and closer; that quirky smile, his goofball sense of humor, his quiet calm demeanor? _I don't deserve him at all._ _He deserves someone so much better than me_ . _Someone who will_ _love him and give him the things in life that he needs._

Tears were in her eyes as she reached the orchard. Anthony spent a lot of time here pruning and grafting the trees. He loved his estate; everything about it. He knew all the workers as well as the tenants. He was their employer, yes, but he was also their protector, as he was hers. He was always looking for ways to help them and improve their lives, as he was hers. He was always available to them if they needed questions answered or problems solved.

What would happen to Locksley when Anthony died? Who would inherit all the centuries of hard work that had gone into making it one of the finest estates in England. She thought back to what her grandmother had said, the thing about Anthony probably wanting an heir and suddenly her tears spilled over and slowly rolled down her cheek.

She stopped and leaned against one of the apple trees and cried. She hadn't cried in so long that she had forgotten the feeling of relief it could give. She thought back to Matthew and Mary's marriage ceremony a month ago and the vows they took. She hadn't listened to her marriage vows when she said them with Anthony four months ago, or listened to Travis either as he droned on that day. She remembered how tears had stung her eyes on her wedding day, how angry she was with Anthony but not knowing why. However, standing here in the orchard he loved so well, she remembered the words now; that marriage was _ordained for the mutual society, help and comfort that the one ought to have of the other. _

They had been married four months and she had given him no comfort or mutual society at all. He had done all the work in their marriage, he had been the one trying to please her, make her happy, protect her from scandal, and in her heart she knew he had succeeded. She was happy, maybe for the first time in her life and all because of him. Living with him, her chaotic life had slowed down.

_I am such a fool. I have fallen in love with my husband and I know now that without him I am nothing. _

Leaning against one of the trees she closed her eyes and listened; listened to the wind in the trees, the birds, the small little brook than ran along one side of the orchard; listened to her heart. Turning and wrapping her arms around the tree she whispered,

"I love you Anthony! I don't know why you wanted to marry me, but I am so glad you did. I don't know when or how I fell in love with you, but I have. I love this life you are trying to make for us. If you can forgive me then today could be a new beginning. Closing her eyes she whispered, "Please, please let it be ."

Standing there with her arms around the tree, she felt more at peace with herself than she could ever remember. She felt a drop of rain on her cheek and looked up to see the dark clouds rolling in again. Pulling her coat tightly around her she headed back toward the house. Her step was lighter as if a huge weight had been lifted off and for the first time in years, her heart felt warm and whole. And when she came in sight of the house, she ran the rest of the way. He was there!


	12. Chapter 12

As Edith walked into the foyer, she thought _how do you tell your husband that you have fallen in love him and want to be his wife. _ What would Anthony say if she marched into his study and just said the words? Most likely he would look at her in disbelief and then play twenty questions with her completely ruining the mood.

_No, you dope,_ she thought, _you are going to have to go at this in a different way, but how?_

Well, she might flirt with him a little. That would catch him completely off guard , considering the fact that she hardly talked to him at all. But he would probably think she had caught some kind of a fever because he knew she would never act flirtatious and coquettish around him; not after the way she had been acting all these months.

She sat down on one of the benches and looked around the foyer. She was proud of herself, she had worked hard on refurbishing all of the main floor rooms. Well, all of the rooms except Anthony's sacred library, and the downstairs washroom. She got up and walked toward each one. The drawing room and morning room were the ones she was most pleased with. They were now bright and airy. The heavy drapes had been replaced with lighter fabric ones that were tied back at the windows allowing the sun to shine in. All the furniture had been cleaned and fabric replaced where needed. _Too bad we never have any visitors_, she thought glumly as she walked toward the dining room.

Opening the door she looked at the polished table and chairs with their new upholstery. She had chosen a tapestry pattern and had picked up the green from them for the new window treatments, This was indeed a lovely room, but so large. She and Anthony ate in here every night. It was oppressive. It was the largest room in the house, not small and intimate like the other rooms. It was so formal, a hard place to talk and relax, not that she ever felt like relaxing around him, until now.

Suddenly she smiled and headed downstairs toward the kitchen. She found Mrs. Bass and Oakley just getting the afternoon tea tray ready, and they both jumped when she sat down on one of the kitchen stools to tell them about the changes she wanted to make starting tonight, if it was okay with them. To her surprise, they both agreed. With just she and Anthony, the changes would be good for the staff as well. They would get done earlier and have more time for themselves. She waited downstairs with Mrs. Bass as Oakley took the tea tray upstairs.

"I made Sir Anthony his favorite cookies for tea, Milady, "she said to Edith.

"You spoil him Mrs. Bass; you , Oakley and Mrs. Sloan. But I know he deserves it." she smiled as she headed up the stairs.

Mrs. Bass just looked at Edith. Her haughty ways and the way she treated Sir Anthony when she first arrived had not gone unnoticed by the staff. But suddenly here she was making some changes that would be a benefit to all. Maybe his good, gentle nature was starting to rub off on the high strung Lady Edith. Maybe she was starting to change. She hoped so, their Sir Anthony deserved only the best.

Edith reached the foyer just as Oakley was leaving the library. She still had on her trousers and sweater. She wanted to see Anthony now and not waste time going upstairs to change her clothes. Running her fingers through her hair and tying her scarf around her neck she breezed past Oakley and entered the library.

"Hello there! "she said as she sailed in and sat down at the tea table.

Anthony's head snapped around. _Is she talking to me?_ he thought. He knew she was pleased with her new car, but normally she wasn't this friendly. He could tell by the way she was dressed that she had been out walking, but usually she changed her clothes when she joined him for tea. However, he enjoyed looking at his lovely wife in her trousers and sweater, a sweater that left nothing to his imagination. He felt a familiar stirring in his groin, one that he seemed to get often lately when around her,

_Get a grip old chap_, he thought.

_Well, I might as well start now,_ she thought. _Hopefully he will like the changes._

"Anthony, what would you think if we changed things a bit and ate our meals in the morning room? The dining room is so large and oppressive, and since we don't entertain, I think it is pointless for Oakley to set the table each night. The morning room is closer to the kitchen stairs and much friendlier. And I would like to change our dinner time from 8:00 to 6:30. Eating so late gives me a headache and I am too tired afterward to read, knit, or do anything else. "

He sat there just looking at her –mesmerized.

"By eating earlier, we would have time after dinner to do something amusing. We could play cards, cribbage, or checkers. I might even give in and play you a game of chess, although I have to admit I doubt I could stand playing it for more than an hour or so. "

"Also, we wouldn't have to change for dinner. Frankly I am getting tired of it. Changing clothes is such a bother and unless we are going someplace it is a complete waste of time and energy, Of course I understand if you would want to change yours, especially if you were out working around the estate all day, but no suit. You look nice in casual clothes, you know trousers, shirt and sweater.

As she handed him his tea and passed him the cookies she noticed that his face was a blank stare. Waving her hand in front of his face, he blinked and looked at her.

_Where in the hell did Edith go and who in God's name is this?_ He asked himself.

"So what do you think?" she asked him as she bit into a cookie.

"You want to play cards, cribbage or checkers with me after we eat an earlier dinner in the morning room and not change clothes but eat in the ones we have on most of the day?"

"That's about it. We are going to start tonight , so don't eat all the cookies!"

Suddenly regaining his faculties he said, "Wait a moment, why start tonight? Shouldn't we ease into this a little at a time?"

"Anthony, everything in this house has moved at a snail's pace _for-ev-er,"_ she said emphasizing the word forever, as she waved her hand in the air to the beat of each syllable. "Believe me , I think you will like the change. And beside I think it will be healthier eating earlier and not going to bed on such a full stomach, " she said as she finished her cookie and took a sip of tea.

"Don't you remember what you said to me when you were telling me all the reasons why I should marry you?"

"I said many things, but why don't you remind me, "he said, and the humor in his voice did not go unnoticed by Edith.

As she refilled his cup she said, "You stated very clearly that I would have a house to run and you to boss around. Have you forgotten?"

"No, I remember everything I said to you that night," he said as he shifted in his chair, crossed his legs and fixed her with his signature stare.

"Well, that particular phrase is what caught my attention and stayed in my mind. If you don't want to try anything new that is fine with me, but starting tonight I am going to eat dinner in the morning room and I will tell Oakley to set a single place for you in the dining room. While you are eating at 8:00, I will be in the drawing room knitting, reading, or playing solitaire.

She didn't like it when he stared at her, at least not before now. Somehow she felt like a bug under a microscope and suspected he was undressing her with his eyes. _Well if he is,_ she thought, _I hope he_ likes _what he sees._ And to her surprise, she didn't blush.

Edith watched him carefully. She knew he was thinking all this over. Anthony wasn't exactly a spontaneous type of man. Everything he did was always meticulously thought out. This was a huge change in routine for him, but she wasn't going to back down.

"Well, while you are thinking all this over, I need to show you something. "With that she wiped her hands on her napkin and put it on the table. Jumping to her feet she left the library, but not before asking him not to go anywhere.

Anthony was perplexed. What had happened to her? Did she fall down and hit her head on a rock or something while on her walk? She had actually smiled at him the entire time she was rambling on about these changes. And, she was flirting with him. He liked her like this, relaxed, happy, and for lack of a better word, womanly. He knew that the refugee fundraiser was going to be a challenge for her, maybe even throw her back a bit, but if making these small changes at home would make her happy like this, then he would gladly change anything for her.

Coming back into the library, Edith laid down a paint and fabric sample in front of him.

"This is the color I would like to paint the washroom on the main floor and this is the fabric I would like for the swag at the window. What do you think?" she said as she grabbed another cookie.

"It's purple, "he said as he held up the paint sample and there was mirth in his voice. "Since you seem to remember everything I said to you, I distinctly remember asking you not to paint anything purple."

"This isn't purple. It is the color of the skin on a plum, anyone can see that. I am going to have the painters mix a little white in it to soften it a bit, and when it is on the walls of the washroom and this beautiful swag at the window, it will be a lovely room to use. Not sterile and white like it is now."

Not getting an answer she left the samples with him and headed for the door. Stopping at the door she turned and gave him one of her beautiful smiles and with laughter in her voice said, "Anthony you never disappoint me. You have now confirmed what I have suspected all along, that all of your taste is in your mouth. I hope to see you at dinner – 6:30 in the morning room," and with that she turned and left the room.

Anthony sat there in deep thought. Whatever had happened to her since their arrival home from Ripon was a miracle. Gone was the snarky woman of yesterday and the many days before, and in her place was the woman he always knew was underneath. It had been a most unusual day so far. He would eat dinner with her at 6:30 tonight and agree to the plum color paint. Two could play this flirting game and if he had his way, and played his cards right, tonight just might be the beginning of something wonderful, he hoped.


	13. Chapter 13

She surveyed the Morning room. It was set for two and Oakley had gone to the trouble of making it as lovely as possible. The two place settings were like they were for breakfast; Anthony 's at the head of the table and Edith's to his left . The room took on a different kind of glow in the early evening. There were candles on the table and a lovely floral arrangement. She smiled to herself thinking that this was a nice cozy, romantic setting for two people to have dinner.

She wasn't surprised when he appeared at 6:30. Somehow she knew he would show up if only to get the point across to her that he wasn't an old fuddy duddy and could tolerate change. She smiled when she saw him. She felt her heart beat faster as he walked toward her. He had changed for dinner, but had not put on a jacket and tie. Instead, he had on one of the cotton shirts he wore when working on the place and over it a beige colored cashmere sweater .

She knew she was staring and was jolted back to reality when he said, "What?

"Nothing, I am happy to see that you are willing to accept a little change."

"I think I am a modern man. I like to keep on top of things. Our estate wouldn't be nearly as successful as it is if modern and new techniques and ideas hadn't been put in place."

_Our estate, he said our. Does he really mean that it is mine too?_ she thought. And then she started to blush when she thought , _I wish I was one of the things he wanted to be on top of. _

"That look is becoming to you," she commented as she started to eat. "Do you really mind not wearing a tie when we eat alone like this?"

Putting down his fork, he gave her his signature look, the one that had always put her on edge and smiling at her said,

"No, I don't mind it at all. I had never thought about being casual in the evening, but you are right, if it is just the two of us why not. I notice you still have on your afternoon clothes"

Their conversation continued along in a most pleasant way. They talked about their earlier trek to Ripon, about the two new cars, about people they knew, local gossip and both of them were thinking the same thing

_I want all of our meals to be like this, friendly and happy._

When they were almost done with dessert, Anthony took the paint sample from earlier in the day out of his sweater pocket and laying it on the table he casually said,

"By the way, after thinking about it, I think this color might look nice in the washroom. With all the white woodwork in there, this might be a nice contrast. "

"So you like it?" she said cautiously.

Laughing that deep laugh of his he said, "Well, I'm not crazy about it, but if it looks anywhere as nice as the rest of the rooms do when finished, and it makes you happy, then do it. I don't use the room that much anyway."

_Does he really care about whether or not I am happy_? she wondered. She knew he cared about her safety, he had told Sampson so.

When dinner was finished he looked at her as he sipped his wine and asked,

"Well, what do you want to do now, play cards?"

"Why not! I want to go downstairs first and tell Mrs. Bass what a wonderful dinner this was and see if the new schedule is working out for her and the rest of the staff. I will meet you in the drawing room."

"Why don't we play in the library,it's cozier in there." He said as he smiled and cocked his head at her.

"_He is flirting with me,_ she thought as she went through the door and down to the kitchen, _and I like it._

Anthony went to the library, added another log to the fire, and set up the game table. Taking the cards out of the cabinet where he kept them , he suddenly noticed something wrong in one section of his library.

Walking over to a small shelf, he noticed that one of his rare old books was missing. It wasn't large, in fact quite small, only 200 pages. He stood there thinking for a moment about where it could have gone. He didn't have a large staff and none of them had ever shown any interest in any of the books.

Then he smiled. He thought back to the day before when he had caught Edith in here. She was nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. Now he knew why. She had discovered and taken his old copy of _Kama Sutra._

The book was pretty powerful – all about getting the most out of love, relationships, living together in harmony with one another; and his edition had illustrations of men and women in sexual positions. _Good God!_ _Was she reading it_? _She must be because it wasn't back on the shelf. If she had found it too ah. . . .sensual she would have brought it back – wouldn't she?_

He didn't have much time to ponder this because as soon as he closed the drawer below the shelf, she came into the room.

"Well Mrs. Bass was happy that we were pleased with her dinner. And she and the rest of the staff like eating earlier too. See I told you that the change would be good. Also, Oakley will be bringing us some coffee and some of those cookies you like."

All Anthony Strallan knew is that he liked this change in his wife. He didn't know what had brought it on but he was content to ride along in this blissful state with her. Sitting down at the game table with her he asked,

"Well what game do you want to play?"

"Gin Rummy, and I want to play for money, a penny a point," she said as she took the cards and started to shuffle them.

Now Anthony wasn't a novice to card games. He had played them since he was a child of about six or seven. He played them when he went to boarding school, university, with friends in social settings and during the war. He knew he was astute at watching what cards were played, counting them and he usually won all wagers.

However, he had never played with anyone like Edith. Every card he discarded, she picked up. He was at a loss for what she was holding in her hand, and it didn't take very long before she discarded one final card, laid down her hand, and said "Gin." After the fourth hand he said,

"Good God! I am married to a card shark" he said laughing. "Where did you learn to play cards like this?"

"Are you sure you really want to know?

Looking at her in that way that unnerved her, he sat back in his chair and said, "Absolutely!

Continuing to shuffle the cards, she said,

"You men are so predictable. You think all we women do all day is sit around writing letters, paying calls, having fittings, and waiting for you men to finally decide you want to marry us. Most of you don't think any of us have much of a brain or can figure out anything complicated.

I learned how to really play cards when I was about thirteen or fourteen years old. I used to play with my cousin Patrick. He was ruthless, always played to win. I used to get mad and cry, but I finally decided I would concentrate and try to figure out what he was doing. It took me a while to learn but I asked him questions and slowly I started to win; he passed on his passion for winning to me. We would play gin and cribbage by the hour, each one of us never giving in to the other.

I played cards with many of the officers who were recouporating at Downton during the war. They thought of me as nothing more than a brainless aristocrat with a somewhat pretty face and therefore patronized me. They played cards like six year olds. Men always play down to women, thinking that letting us win at games somehow makes you more noble. I loved taking their money, just like I will love taking yours, a penny at a time. We also had two American officers who came there for a short time and they taught me how to play poker, after I batted my eyes and begged them to teach this poor, helpless, dumb little woman how to play. I won quite a few hands and by the time the war ended, I had quite a nice little stash of bank notes.

Leaning back in his chair he started to laugh.

"Remind me to never let you sit in on one of our men's card games, you'd probably fleece everyone and I would never live it down."

The evening continued on like that, both of them bantering back and forth and they both knew they were flirting with the other. The rain had started shortly after Edith returned from her walk, and now it was coming down hard and the wind was howling outside. Suddenly there was a huge clap of thunder followed by lightening. Dropping her cards, Edith jumped to her feet, and stepped back to lean against one of the bookcases. There was terror on her face as she closed her eyes and turned her head.

Jumping to his feet, Anthony was at her side instantly. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder he asked,

"Edith, what is the matter? It's only a storm."

Leading her to one of the chairs by the fireplace, he walked around the room and pulled the shades down.

Coming back he pulled one of the ottomans over, sat on it, took her hands in his and asked,

"Are you afraid of thunder and lightning?"

She could only nod. Sitting there for what he thought an eternity she finally started to talk.

"I have been frightened of thunder and lightning ever since I was a little girl. Whenever there was a storm I would go to Sybil's room and climb into bed with her. Somehow I wasn't as frightened when I was with her. We had a terrible German governess named Fraulein Gelder. She worshiped Mary, adored Sybil and hated me. Mary liked getting me in to trouble. She would do something wrong than tell Fraulein Gelder that I did it. She never listened to any explanation and as a result I would get the spanking. She never used a belt or switch, she didn't want to leave any marks. She used her hands instead and she could hit hard with them. "

Anthony couldn't remember feeling such anger. The fact that his lovely wife had been abused so badly by a woman her parents trusted, was beyond his comprehension. And the fact that her own sister deliberately got Edith into trouble infuriated him.

"She told me that if I ever told anyone, she would spank me harder the next time. Anyway, whenever there was a thunder and lightning , I would go to Sybil's bed. I would try to wake up and go back to my own bed before morning, but many times I didn't and Fraulein Gelder would spank me for being with Sybil. I was so frightened of her that I guess I just became complacent. I never talked much and tried to stay out of her way. The happiest day of my life was when she left, but to this day whenever there is a storm like this I can't help but think of her.

"You know it was my cousin Patrick who brought out the best in me. He made me feel good about myself, encouraged me, taught me how to play cards, shoot, ride, fish. He gave me back the confidence that Fraulein Gelder took from me. I miss him. He was the nicest person I knew and when he died part of me did too."

Suddenly Edith looked at him and then down at their hands. He was stroking the back of her hands with his thumbs, and when he noticed her looking he tried to pull his hands away, but she continued to hold on to them. She hadn't had this kind of gentle contact with anyone since Patrick and she didn't want the feeling to end.

"I can't help it, I know that by now I should be accustomed to it, but the noise and light just scare me. I had a feeling earlier today when I was walking that a storm was coming, but I hoped that it wouldn't be like this," she said with a small grin.

"I know what it is like to be helpless and under the power of someone like your Fraulein Gelder. My mother hired the nicest teacher for my sister and myself. He came here when I was about five to be our tutor. He was a wonderful man, encouraged both my sister and me in our many interests. I always favored my left hand and he never tried to make me change.

My father thought I should go to boarding school as he had done when I turned nine, but my mother begged and I wasn't sent away until I was eleven. I never had another teacher who really liked being around children as much as Mr. Billings. I was quite shy when young, and he like your cousin Patrick brought out the best in me and gave me confidence in myself. I think my love of reading was a gift from him. Going away to boarding school was the most awful and painful experience of my life."

"Remember in the novel Jane Eyre, she is sent to Lowood Institute. Well my school wasn't much different. I don't know if you have noticed, but I can be rather pig headed about things. The teachers there tried to stop me from using my left hand. Most of the time they would hit it with a ruler or switch. It only made me more obstinate and that attitude sent me to the headmaster. I wasn't the only one who would get regular thrashings from him. Most of the time, the other boys would stop their offending behavior, but not me. It seemed each time I came before him he would hit me harder than the time before. Finally when the welts on the back of my legs were not healing like they should, one of my teachers convinced me to give in for the sake of my health and maybe my life."

Edith's eyes had started to tear up as he told his story.

"Oh, my dear how awful," and suddenly there it was hovering in the air between them, a term of endearment, spoken by Edith.

Their eyes met and somehow they knew that they would not be strangers anymore.

But the mood was broken with another clap of thunder followed shortly by lightning. There was more electricity in the library than outside and Edith shuddered and rose to her feet.

"Anthony, I can't stand this, I am going up to bed. Thank you for a wonderful day and evening."

And with that she turned and left the room.

But the evening wasn't done as far as Anthony was concerned. He would not let her sleep afraid. If he had to sleep in a chair in her room, his wife would not sleep alone tonight.


	14. Chapter 14

**All Through the Night**_**- Part 1**_

_Edith, what's wrong with you? You are such a coward not to mention an idiot! All you had to do when he was holding your hand was tell him that you loved him and wanted to be his wife. But no! you excused yourself and came up here to go to bed,_ she chided herself as she entered her room.

She had left a note for Ethyl earlier in the evening giving her the night off. Ethyl's life here at Locksley had taken a dramatic turn. She had tried to put her past behind her and had proven herself to be a good ladies maid. She also helped Mrs. Bass in the kitchen when not needed upstairs, and she had made friends on the estate. One person who showed a keen interest in her was William Morgan, Anthony's head carpenter. Morgan was a kind man with a little girl about five years old. His wife had died shortly after giving birth to her from a condition called Eclampsia . Ethyl had told Edith that Mr. Morgan had proposed marriage to her thus giving her a man who could forgive her for her past and a chance to be a mother again. Edith smiled. Morgan must be like Anthony in many ways; wanting to marry a woman with a past.

Her room was cold. Although Anthony had gone to much trouble to make it beautiful, it never got very warm. She never told him. She never knew why she didn't, maybe she felt that she was so rude to him in so many ways that to complain about her lovely bedroom would just be a slap in his face. So she slept in her warmest nightgown with socks on her feet and her robe on almost every night. It didn't make any difference anyway because he never came to her.

Well she wanted to be with him tonight. Her woman's intuition told her that he would not turn her away. She undressed and put on a lovely nightgown of lightweight cotton. It was the kind of cotton that you would wear to bed in the summer; sheer fabric that would keep you cool. It was a pale blue with long sleeves and a gathered neckline. It tied with three bows, _easy for him to untie_, if he wanted, she thought.

She had spent the evening before reading the Kama Sutra. It had much more information in it than those silly romantic novels she read. She blushed to herself that she wasn't nervous or scared. She was ready to experience the physical joy of being loved by her husband and maybe if she could keep her wits about her, love him back.

She went into her bathroom and did her evening routine. She put a little of her favorite perfume on a piece of cotton and put it at her pulse points, behind her ears and between her breasts. She combed her hair out and tied it loosely with a matching blue ribbon.

She then went back to her room and opened the door to the hall. Peering over the railing she noticed that the library door was open and the room dark. That could only mean one thing, Anthony was in his room. Tiptoeing down to his door she put her ear against it and heard him talking with Edwards, his valet. Her heart was racing in her chest as she went back into her room, closed the door and went back into her bathroom. Turning off the light, she cautiously opened the door a tiny crack between hers and Anthony's bathroom. His light was on and she could hear the two men talking. Quietly closing it she leaned against her counter and waited. She heard water running and imagined Anthony was taking care of his evening toilet.

She waited for what seemed an eternity and when she didn't hear any more sounds, she opened the door again. His bathroom was dark but the door leading into his bedroom was slightly ajar and she could see that there was a light on. He was in there. A clap of thunder and lightning lit up the room. She shuttered and put her hands over her mouth so she wouldn't yell out. Now was the time. She slowly walked across his bathroom, put her hand on the knob of his door and gently pushed it open.

/ / / / /

Anthony was sitting in his favorite bedroom chair reading another chapter of a new novel. But his mind wasn't on the book, it was on his beautiful wife who was two doors away. Oh, how he wanted to go to her tonight, take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her.

_You are a coward and an idiot! You fought in the war, got shot, and have persevered in building up the strength in your arm, but you can't speak up to your own wife. You are a pathetic fool, _he chastised himself.

He had closed his book and had been looking at the dying fire when he sensed a change in the room. Turning around he saw Edith standing there. His heart started racing; he couldn't believe it. She was here with him, now, this minute, in his room. God she was beautiful.

"Edith, what's wrong" he tried to ask as calmly as possible.

"Nothing. But when we were talking this afternoon you told me that you remembered everything you said to me on our first night here at Locksley. Is that true?"

"Yes. . . . . . yes. . . . it is" he said as he got out of his chair his eyes never leaving her face_. Please let it be_ _what I have been wanting to hear from you all these months,_ he prayed.

"Well, you said that if I ever wanted to. . . . . . . . . . . .make. . . . . . . .our marriage real,. . . . . . all I had to do was ask. . . . . . . . I'm asking."

Anthony said nothing. Moving toward her he gently pulled her into his arms and hugged her to him. He didn't need words. All he wanted to do at this moment was to hold her close, try to gauge how she felt.

Edith felt as if her knees were going to buckle under her. He was holding her, hugging her close while moving his hands soothingly over her back. She moved her hands up and put them around his neck, which only made him hug her closer. He wasn't stupid, he knew now how she felt.

Anthony left his weak right arm around her waist and moved his left hand up into her hair. Her beautiful, strawberry blonde curly hair cascaded through his fingers and he finally whispered "Edith, oh Edith" into her ear. Kissing her ear, then her jaw, he finally reached her lips.

Anthony wasn't a novice at making love. He knew that kissing was the first step in arousal for both men and women and he wanted to take it very slow with Edith, not frighten her, make her enjoy every sensation. He had waited four months for this moment and he was going to love her like he hoped she had never been loved before.

Edith felt like fireworks were going off in her head as Anthony kissed her. She was so thankful that he was holding on to her because she knew if he let go, she would collapse on the floor. She had never been kissed like this; slow, tender and loving. She had been kissed before, and she knew how deep and satisfying kissing could be, but nothing had prepared her for this. He was kissing her eyes, ears, neck and then would make his way back to her mouth. She couldn't stand still, her whole body was moving against him. Even her toes were curling in the deep nap of his carpet. She couldn't stand it any longer and when he made his way back to her mouth again, she opened it to him as she took her hands off his shoulders and moved them up and ran them through his hair pulling his face closer to hers.

Anthony groaned as his tongue caressed her lips and entwined with hers as he pulled her closer to him. Every inch of her torso was moving against him and the feel of her hands in his hair encouraged him all the more.

_Oh God_! Anthony thought_. My __**wife **__is responding to me._ Never in the last eight years had a woman kissed him like this. Never in his former married life had Maud ever enjoyed being kissed like Edith was enjoying it.

Anthony started moving down her neck and untied the first bow of her nightgown. Pushing it aside he started kissing her pulse point on her neck and then moved to her collarbone and then over to her shoulders. He moved his hand down to her breast and groaned as he felt the muscles in it pulsate under his palm and her nipple become erect and hard as his thumb circled it again and again.

He silently gave thanks for her body. Edith was not flat chested like her sisters or Maud. She had curves and he was going to explore each one before the night was out. He untied the other two bows of her gown, pushed it off her shoulders and arms and continued to stroked and kiss her as it fell to her waist.

Her breath was becoming ragged as he continued to kiss and pet her. God! She just fit in his hands. The thought that he would be able to touch her like this for the rest of his life aroused him more.

Edith was lost as sensation after sensation washed over her as his hands caressed her breasts and nipples. His right hand slid down from her waist and started to caress her bottom. She had never thought that Anthony's hands stroking her there could make her body heat up. The cool air in the room felt so good on her bare skin. She had never been so hot, in her life.

She hoped she had whispered his name as she was kissing him, she thought she had, but her brain had slowly gone numb as each sensation washed over her. She wanted to stroke him in the same way he was stroking her but there was something in the way. It was his dressing gown; she had to get it out of the way in order to hopefully give him the same sensations that he was giving her.

Pulling her hands from his hair, she moved them down his neck to the collar of his robe. She couldn't get it off his shoulders_. "Why, why won't it move?"_ , she cried to herself, but then remembered that it was tied at his waist. Moving her hands down his chest, she felt his hardened nipples under her palms . Also, the hair on his chest was driving her to distraction. Finally, what seemed like forever, she reached his sash. Untying it she moved her hands up his chest again and pushed it off his shoulders as her hands moved down his arms stroking them a well. For some reason he didn't wear a pajama shirt. She didn't care, she liked him like this.

Anthony had never been aroused like this. Her hands were all over him, the back of his neck pulling him to her, in his hair weaving her fingers through it, down his back caressing the muscles, and finally the scar on his right shoulder, kissing it making him aware that as far as she was concerned it was just another part of him. And all they had been doing was kissing and petting. Hopefully he wouldn't die when they got to the main event.

Edith felt his arousal against her. It only made her breathe harder. Pulling her lips from his she whispered in his ear,

"Darling, help me, I can't stand up any more."

Anthony knew he couldn't lift her like men usually did women. His weaker arm wouldn't have been able to hold her, but it was certainly doing its duty caressing and stroking her. He bent his knees, pushed her gown completely off her, gently grabbed her under her buttocks with his left arm, lifted her off the carpet, and three steps later deposited her on his bed.

Anthony could only stare at her. She was beautiful and she was his wife. Her arms and legs seemed to go on forever and the triangle of hair covering her femininity was wavy and the same strawberry blonde color. Oh how he wanted to get lost in it forever.

"Kiss me again, please." She begged as she held her arms out to him. As he gently eased himself down next to her, her arms started to caress his back and it suddenly dawned on him she was moving her hands down his back and under the waistband of his pajama trousers. She was trying to push them off but they were tied in the front. Easing away from her, he said in a raspy voice,

"You have to untie them."

Edith needed no further information. Deftly she brought her hand around his waist and pulled at the strings and loosened the trousers so she could push them down his legs. He raised up on one side so she could get them out from under him. Slowly she eased them down over his buttocks, stroking each one as he had done to her, hoping that the sensation made him as aroused as she was, She continued to push the bottoms down his thighs, and that just about made his brain explode. But the front was caught on something. She smiled against his kiss and slowly followed the waistband around to the front and gently untangled them and continued to push them down his leg, but not before she managed to move her hand gently and slowly over the gift that she knew he would soon give her. As her hand touched and stroked him he let out a guttural moan that made her want him even more. When her arm had pushed his trousers as far as she could reach, she drew her leg up along his calf until she reached the top of them. Then with one slow, continuing movement , she pushed them completely off of him with her foot. She moaned and pulled herself against him once more, grinding her body into his, silently thankful that she had found _Kama Sutra_ and had spent the time reading it.

_Sweet Jesus!_ Was the only thought that raced through Anthony's somewhat fuzzy brain. He was lost to her, but this was just the beginning. He had to snap himself back to reality if he was going to make this a night to remember, and make love to her like she deserved, and like he so wanted to.

But the only sound he heard was her uneven breathing and her voice in his ear that begged him,

Take me now, please, I need you so!

To be continued. . . . . . . .

_**I wanted this evening to be perfect for our favorite twosome. But writing love scenes is not easy for me. What I think in my brain and what ends up on paper are two different things. So I played the Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers version of "Islands in the Stream" as I wrote. To me this is a very sensual version of the song, not only their singing , but the instrumental accompaniment; the drum beating constantly throughout, the steel guitar, and the horns. I just played it over and over. **_


	15. Chapter 15

**All Through the Night – Part II**

Anthony slowly moved his hands down her body caressing her breasts, midriff, stomach, and finally that glorious tangle of blondish red hair. His hands stroked the outside of her hips and then moved to the inside of her thighs. He could feel the heat of her femininity and knew that she was ready for him. He had wanted to prolong this experience for her but he knew he couldn't hold out much longer. This experience with her had completely engulfed him; he needed her just as badly as she needed him.

Edith's body was moving to a pulsating beat in her head. It was if a drum was beating a rhythm that forced her body to respond. She couldn't stay still. Her body, her arms, hands, hips, legs, feet were moving; she couldn't stop. Her legs were moving up and down his. Only Anthony could satisfy this growing pressure within her. She needed him now, oh how she needed him.

Anthony slowly pushed her legs apart and felt how wet she was. For one brief moment he realized how lucky he was to have a wife who wanted him so much; a wife, a lover, a friend. The fates had certainly smiled on him that day four months ago when she had consented to be his wife.

He slowly entered her and was greeted with an overwhelming heat. It was as if she was burning up inside. There was no resistance, she was more than ready for him. He wanted to go slow, build up the pressure in both of them, but suddenly he stopped and backed out. His mind focused on what had just happened. There was a barrier, her maidenhead was intact. _How can this be possible_, he thought.

"Edith, darling ," he said overwhelmed by what he had just discovered.

"Please, please make me your wife, please Anthony," she begged, and as he leaned down to kiss her he felt the salty tears on her cheeks.

He entered her again slowly teasing her in and out, in and out, until he could tell by the way her body was reacting that the moment had come. With one quick thrust he broke through her barrier and entered virgin territory. He had wanted this to last so much longer, but the pressure building up inside of him was excruciating.

Edith felt as if her body had turned itself inside out. Every nerve was on fire. She hardly felt the sharp pinch when her maidenhead gave way but all she cared about was that it was Anthony who had taken it.

_Oh God he is good. He has done this before and he is so wonderful at it,_ her brain whispered as her body and his found the rhythm that was as old as time. Suddenly she felt the pressure build and her release came as he pushed deeper into her. She had lost control of her body and it took over from her tightening its muscles around Anthony. All she knew is that she wanted this to last forever.

Anthony felt her release and knew he was one or two thrusts behind her. Never in his life had he expected her muscles to clamp around him and when they did, he couldn't hold on anymore and pushing one more time finished deep within her.

As he was going to withdraw, she put her arms around his back and pulled him to her telling him she wanted his to stay in her as long as he could; she wanted him on top of her.

"Oh my darling, my love," he whispered as he gently eased down on top of her. He brushed her hair off her face and gently kissed her over and over. Finally he eased off of her and rolling to his side pulled her with him. She ended up exactly where he wanted her to be, half laying on him her leg over his, her knee gently resting against his navel. Her arm was across his chest and her head resting on his shoulder.

Edith had never felt so wonderful in all her life. She was so tired she could hardly think. Anthony had discovered her secret and she knew they would have to talk about it, but right now all she wanted to do was sleep against him. They had the rest of the night to make love again and tell each other their secrets.

Anthony reached down and pulled the sheet over them. He was tired and knew that they both needed to sleep for a while. But he knew that it would only be for a while. He wanted to love her again, but the second time he would show her what loving was all about. He listened to her steady breathing and knew that she had fallen asleep.

God how he loved her. She had suffered the slurs of society, the displeasure of her family, and for what?

He was incensed that no one, especially her mother he assumed, had never bothered to ask her if she was still a virgin. He guessed it was natural for them to think the worst about her. It smarted, the way they had always treated her as second best. It hurt him to know that she had always been alone in the middle of a family who never noticed her, having to find her way by herself. He married her believing the scandal about her, but smiled to himself because he knew he had come out the winner. He got the woman and wife he wanted. Something inside of him had told him that she was the one for him. Thank God he had acted on his instincts. He had waited a very long time, over twenty four years to feel this in love again.

As he drifted off into the most wonderful sleep he knew he would ever have he turned his head and kissed her forehead and whispered to her**, **my love, my only love,_ my wife._

/ / / / / / / / / /

Edith slowly drifted back to the surface from her deep sleep. The thunder and lightning had ceased and the only sound in the room was the soft rain against the window. She had never been so comfortable, so incredibly happy. She was nestled against Anthony, snug and warm and so terribly in love with him. She never thought that sleeping with a man could be so wonderful, so comforting.

She had never slept with Michael Gregson. They had kissed and petted but something deep within her had managed to hold him off; either with a headache or a cold, and finally right before she broke with him, her monthly. He had been brutal to her and had slandered her, but she was able to give her virginity to a man she truly loved and for that she would be ever grateful. She had played a very dangerous game, but had somehow come out on the winning side, the right side.

She smiled to herself as she thought back to what had happened just a few hours earlier, as she slowly moved her hand over Anthony's chest and up to his face. The urge to kiss him was so strong so she moved her body up along his so she could reach his face. Once there she moved her hand to the back of his head, moved her fingers through his hair, and slowly kissed him all the while moving her body against his.

"Um! He whispered against her lips. Someone could get herself in a lot of trouble doing this."

"How much trouble ?"

"Oh, quite a bit my love, quite a bit, " he said as he kissed her deeply, just the way he remembered she liked it, and wrapped his left arm tightly around her.

"Oh darling," she purred as she started to move her hand from his head down the back of his neck, down his back , till she reached his buttocks and stopped there as she moved her hands in a circular motion over them, first one than the other.

Anthony couldn't believe what he was experiencing. His Edith wasn't any shy shrinking violet in the bedroom. She was seducing him again, and he loved it.

Edith's hands didn't stay on his buttocks for long. Slowly moving them around to his navel, she lowered them and took him in hand stroking his full package until he thought he would he would explode.

"Am I in trouble yet?" She whispered as she continued to stroke and rub him.

"Yes, and I am afraid that you are going to have to pay the price, " he groaned as he shifted his weight and rolled her under him.

What happened in the next few minutes drove Edith to distraction. His hands and mouth were all over her, in places she had never dreamed they could be. His hand was stroking her so slowly, his fingers were inside her and his thumb had found the one spot on her body that up till this moment she had never known to exist. Spasm after spasm took hold of her as he continued his sweet torture.

She couldn't think. She felt like a rag doll just laying there being played with. He was the master and she was the slave, and she would be his for the rest of her life. Suddenly, again like before, she felt him inside her and it felt like fireworks going off in her head as he brought her once more to her final climax.

Edith and Anthony were fast learners. It had only taken a little discovery and practice to learn what the other liked. The moans that were exchanged between them spoke volumes about what they liked and wanted.

Slowly moving up against her again, Anthony finished this round of loving with a deep, sensual kiss. Edith responded all the while rubbing the calf of his left leg with her foot.

"Oh, Anthony darling, I am so sorry," she whispered, "but you have married a sluttish, wanton, trollop. I can't help myself. I love being with you like . . . . . this, doing these. . . . . things with you, wanting. . . . you so much."

Pulling away from her and giving her that crooked smile that she loved he said,

"Well! pity me!"

Edith laughed and wiggled herself into his arms. She was so full of love for this man that she thought she would die from sheer happiness.

"Sweetheart, he said, "thank you for giving me this happiness, this contentment, this joy. I truly thought that I would never know this kind of fulfillment ever in my life.

"But darling, your marriage to Maud ?"

"Was never like this, could never have been like this." I loved Maud, but our marriage was based more on intellect than passion or romance. When we married, I was an eager young man anxious to show my new wife how exciting making love could be. But as I found out, Maud wasn't as eager as I was. She was afraid. I know she loved me but she could never relax, never enjoy the experience. "

Edith didn't know if she should really hear all of this, but yet she leaned back in his arms and listened as he continued.

"The way I kiss you, the way you like me to kiss you, Maud was shocked the first time I tried to caress her mouth with my tongue. She told me she didn't like to be kissed that way, so our kissing consisted of mostly kisses on the cheek or quick little ones on her lips.

"She didn't like to be touched either, not the way you do. She never let me remove her nightgown or touch her intimately, and she was never ready for me. I know it was painful for her each time so, after a while I didn't persist. I waited patiently for her to tell me when she wanted me to share her bed. I think she thought of sex as a duty that had to be endured, rather than something a husband and wife could enjoy experiencing together.

"But Edith, I want you to understand that I did love Maud. She was a wonderful woman and a good wife. We were happy because we had so many things in common. When she died, I was truly devastated. We had been married almost sixteen years. That is a long time to spend with someone day in and day out. "

"Darling, thank you for trusting me enough to share that part of your life with me." she said as she kissed him again, long and slow. She wanted him to know how much he meant to her. Snuggling down against him she whispered,

"Darling, you know I stole a book from your library the other day. It is very old and I couldn't make out its title, but it has some very interesting pictures in it.

"It's called the _Kama Sutra_, and yes when I noticed it was gone, I figured you must have it."

"How did you know it was gone? It's so small, I hardly saw it myself."

"Sweetheart, my library has always been my haven. I have moved those books around again and again. I know where every book is and I can tell when one is missing. When books have been on a shelf for a long time, they claim the space, almost as if they were attached to that particular space. When you remove one, the space doesn't fill up, it stays open waiting for the book to be returned. I noticed the space when I got the playing cards last night."

"Can I ask you something personal ," she asked as she twirled her fingers around on his chest.

"Of course, anything"

Laying her head on his shoulder she asked, "Who is Claudine?

_I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has written a review of this little story. All of you are such talented writers. The __**Three Little Words**__ haven't been spoken yet, but they are coming. Thank you again._


	16. Chapter 16

**All Through the Night – Part III**

_**This is the chapter that explains Anthony's past. Some of you may not like it, but I have tried to make him human. Humans make mistakes, some bigger than others. He is still the Anthony we love, he just derailed himself when he was younger.**_

Edith felt Anthony's body tense slightly. But before she could say anything, he fluffed the pillows under her head and gently moved her so she was comfortable. Anthony knew that this conversation was coming ever since he noticed the book was gone. He had secretly hoped that Edith would have found the book embarrassing and returned it as soon as possible to the library, without reading the inscription, but in a way he was glad she had found it. Whether it was the book or her natural instincts he didn't care, all he knew was that he was happy that she was enjoying their married life.

_But will she still love me and want me when I tell her about Claudine,_ _when I tell her about_ _the man I_ _used to be,_ he wondered as he positioned himself so he could look her in the eye as he began his story.

"When I was twenty four years old and six months before I proposed to Maud, I went to Paris with a friend of my uncles, in fact it was that idiot Reginald Pantene's uncle, Charles Pantene. I went to experience the joys of life, including sex. Many young men did the same, I certainly wasn't unique. In a way it was a right of passage"

He never thought talking about his past would make him uncomfortable but he was. He was watching Edith's face, it had taken on an expression of disbelief.

He was embarrassed. He had never talked about this before and now he was talking about it with his wife. Suddenly he had a bitter taste in his mouth.

"We didn't have these liaisons with common prostitutes, we were introduced to some of the best courtesans in Paris. The woman I spent time with was named Claudine."

He kept watching Edith's and noticed her eyes seemed to get wider.

"Edith, I can tell by the expressions on your face that you are shocked, but that is what young men did in those days. Young men who came from wealthy families like me went to Paris. Men of lesser means went to London, I imagine.

Looking at her he asked, "Do you want me to continue? Are you sure you want to hear what I am about to tell you?"

"Yes. . . . . . . . .yes, I do, she whispered, all the while feeling a sinking sensation within her.

"Claudine was twenty one years old when I met her. She came from Nance, France, one of three daughters and two sons of a wealthy merchant, and she lived the life of a pampered and beloved daughter. She went to the convent school there with her sisters, and was accomplished in literature, mathematics, music, religion and languages. She was intelligent and beautiful. She told me she was also willful, not always listening to the voice of reason. Like most young women of her day she was betrothed when she was sixteen to the son of another wealthy man, a young man she had known most of her life. She told me that she liked this young man and felt that their marriage would probably be a happy one, but she wanted a little excitement before she was forced to settle down. "

Edith now wasn't as shocked as she was intrigued. It was as if Anthony was telling her a story that didn't have anything to do with him.

"She fell in love, or so she thought, with a young artist who her father had hired to teach painting to Claudine and her sisters. They started a flirtation that eventually became more. She fell in love with him, wanted to run away with him, be his muse and model, but their affair was discovered and he was sent away without payment or references. Because of her family's position and reputation, his career as an artist was over. Her family made sure that he would never be hired by a school or any other wealthy family in Nance or any other surrounding cities again. His reputation was ruined and he left the city in disgrace. She never saw or heard of him again."

"She told me that she always felt that it was one of her sisters who had told their father of her indiscretion. Nevertheless, she was ruined as well. Her fiancé and his family turned their back on her and her family disowned her. They didn't want their good name and reputation ruined because of the behavior of their daughter. She was turned out with one small bag and enough money to leave Nance. She made her way to Paris, came under the tutelage of Cora Pearl, a famous courtesan, and by the time I met her was one of the upcoming and sought after young courtesans in Paris. "

Edith had shifted to a sitting position in the bed and pushed the pillows behind her so that she could sit and be more comfortable as she listened to this fascinating story. Looking at Anthony she said,

"Is that all?

Shifting his position as well , he sat cross-legged in front of her and whispered, "No, that's not all."

"She taught me how wonderful relations could be between a man and a woman. By the time our day and evening together was done, I had fallen in love with her. I asked her to marry me, but she refused, citing the fact that I would lose my inheritance, reputation, probably family if I were to marry a courtesan, or as she so deftly put it, a prostitute in the eyes of the English. I protested of course, but I knew she was right. I always regretted that I had never met her before, when she lived in Nance, before all her trouble started. I hated the fact that someone as lovely and educated as she was, had been reduced to making a living as a courtesan, and that there was nothing I could do about it."

Edith was trying to comprehend all that she was hearing. The Anthony Strallan that all of Yorkshire knew and thought of as dull, boring and shy was anything but. Her mother had been right. Still water do run deep. The story he was telling about himself seemed so out of place with the man she knew and had grown to love. Thinking him done she smiled and said,

"Well, darling that is all in the past. Who you were in your twenties is not the person you are now."

Putting his head down slightly he said, "That's not all Edith, there's more."

_More, good God, how could there be more,_ she thought and for the first time she felt jealously raising its ugly head.

"As I mentioned before, I came home an eager young man anxious to get married. You know what I told you earlier about my life with Maud. My marriage wasn't completely sterile, we did have relations and Maud got pregnant twice in the first six years of our marriage. She miscarried both times. I understood why she was afraid to get pregnant again. We both wanted children, in fact we had talked about it many times, but finally agreed that it probably wouldn't happen. Our life took a different path, and we settled into a routine. We became content with each other. "

He stole a glance at Edith trying to gauge what she was thinking, but her face, that beautiful face that he loved, showed absolutely no emotion.

"We had been married about ten years when I had to go to Paris on business. I asked Maud if she wanted to go with me, but she didn't like traveling and was happy staying home. I told her I would probably be gone about five days and I meant it.

When I reached Paris I proceeded to attend to my business. But while walking back to my hotel one afternoon I saw a woman who reminded me of Claudine. It wasn't her of course, but she looked like the woman I had known ten years previously. All those feelings from that time came rushing back. I don't know why I pursued it, but I found her address and sent her a note asking if she remembered me, and if she did, might I see her. I swear Edith all I wanted to do was see her again, but when I did all the emotions, and yes lust swept over me. I fell in love with her all over again. We spent the next two days together and when I left to come home I asked her if I could see her again. "

"She agreed and so for the next four years we met about twice a year. She would come to London and I would meet her there. I'm not proud of being an adulterer, I was in my way happily married to Maud, but as a man I needed more. I needed to feel a woman's arms around me, really around me. I wanted to kiss a woman, who would respond to me and kiss me back. I wanted to feel the sensation of having a woman in my arms who enjoyed being there and who enjoyed making love with me."

Edith scooted farther up the bed and pulled the sheet closer to her. She didn't know if she was appalled or entranced. At that exact moment she didn't know how she felt. She knew she loved him, but this. . . . . . . this was more than she could comprehend.

Anthony could only sit there and stare at her. He had told her . . . . . . . .about his past. Would she hate him or would she become indifferent to him now that she knew the truth about what he had done, what kind of a man he was.

He couldn't decipher the look she gave him. He guessed if he had to give it a name it would be. . . . . . . . contempt.

In a voice barely above a whisper, she said.

" You told me Maud died in childbirth. If memory serves Anthony there was only one immaculate conception. How could you come home to Maud and be with her as a husband after being with. . . . .that woman, and Anthony could hear the anger in Edith's voice.

"Did she know about your relationship with . . . . . . . . . . " Edith couldn't even say Claudine's name.

"No! of that I'm sure. I was racked with guilt every time I came back from being with Claudine. It didn't make it any easier to be with Maud. She was a good wife, sweet and kind and we did have marital relations. When she became pregnant again I was truly happy. I wrote to Claudine telling her my good news and explaining that as much as I loved her, I couldn't continue on with our relationship."

Edith just stared at him with her mouth half open and finally said, "Well bully for you!"

"Edith, please believe me when I say that I was so happy for Maud, for us. We were finally going to have the family we both wanted. But fate stepped in and Maud died shortly after giving birth to our son, and as you know, he died a day later. I was devastated. I felt sure that Maud and the baby had been taken from me as a punishment for my infidelity."

"I thought of converting to Catholicism so that I could confess my sins and receive some kind of absolution. I talked to Travis, but of course he thought I was in deep mourning for Maud, and I was, but I was trying to find my way back to some sort of respectability, to wash my conscience clean. When Maud was alive I tried not to see the man who looked back at me from my mirror, but once she was gone, I loathed the person I saw. I hated myself."

"What happened to . . . . . . .her?" Edith asked without any emotion in her voice.

"In 1914 shortly after the war started, I got a letter from her asking if I could come to Paris. The tone of the letter wasn't one of a woman wanting to meet a former lover, it was a letter of desperation. I was shocked when I saw her again. She was very ill. She had advanced cancer. She asked me if I would help get her home to Nance. "

"She had saved quite a bit of money, enough to buy a small house. All of her family were dead or living elsewhere except one of her sisters. She told me that her sister who was a widow agreed to live with her and care for her. She only needed help getting home. I guess in some small way I felt redeemed that out of all the men she had known she turned to me to help her. I escorted her back to Nance, helped her obtain a house, then left for England. I knew that I would never see her again and that that part of my life was over"

"I came home, joined Military Intelligence and began serving in the war. About six months later I got a letter from her sister informing me that she had died and had been buried in her family's plot. In some small way that in itself made me happy. Shortly after that I was shot, but unfortunately the bullet didn't kill me as I wished it had. It would have ended this living hell, cleared my conscience once and for all."

Suddenly everything became crystal clear to Edith. She had always wondered why he wanted to marry her and now she thought she knew. He couldn't save his first love from falling into a life of despair, but maybe he could save Edith Crawley. Maybe by marrying her he could save her from ruin and scandal and in the process ease his conscience in regard to the things he had done in his past life. She didn't know whether to laugh, cry, scream or slap him . Throwing the sheet off, she slid out of bed and before Anthony could stop her walked to her room, slamming the bathroom doors behind her.

Anthony sat in the middle of his bed tears running down his face. Up until a few minutes ago it had been a happy, loving place. Now he felt as if he were in hell. The woman he loved, now would look at him with disgust. His felt his life since the war had been like living on a merry-go-round. He had a taken a chance and reached out and grabbed the brass ring, only to lose it . He finally understood how people could commit suicide, when their life meant nothing anymore.

Slowly he eased himself down on his pillow. He knew she would never sleep with him again, and his heart sank when he thought that their marriage from tonight forward would be cold and polite, nothing more. The thought that she would never let him hold her in his arms again devastated him. Maybe he did marry her out of some far- fetched noble reason, but the truth was he loved her. Her happiness was all that mattered and now he knew she would never be happy with him again.

/ / / / / /

Edith stood in her bathroom shaking, trying to digest everything Anthony had just told her. She went to her sink and splashed some cold water on her face as she tried to sort out how she felt. Somehow she couldn't believe that the man he had confessed to being was the same one who had loved her so gently just hours before. It didn't make any sense to her. But as she calmed down she began to reason.

Was she appalled that as a young man he had sex with a courtesan?

_No, I didn't know him then_, she answered to herself.

Was she appalled that he had cheated on Maud?

_No! I'm not appalled . Disappointed maybe, but who am I to judge,_ _I didn't know either one of them_, she thought.

This night had been more wonderful than she ever imagined married love could be. She knew how hard it must have been for him to tell her these secrets from his past. But maybe in telling her he was wiping the slate clean. Giving himself a chance to start over again.

Who was she to judge? Her past wasn't so pure either. She had come to him a virgin, but only because she had kept her wits about her. She had basked in and enjoyed the physical affections of three men. She shuttered when she thought about her time with Michael Gregson. She had allowed him to take certain liberties with her and had enjoyed the sensations he evoked in her as he stroked her body, how he had put his hands under her dresses and undid her stockings and caressed her naked legs not to mention her breasts. Her face burned with shame when she thought about how wanton she had been. But Anthony had married her believing the whispers about her.

Suddenly a warm feeling came over her and she smiled. Anthony, the real Anthony she knew, had helped a woman he had once loved go home to die. That was the man in the next room, her husband; loving, gentle, kind, and a friend.

She loved him. That was her truth. The life that he wanted to build with her had nothing to do with the one he had lived before. Whatever his reason for marrying her didn't matter. The simple fact is that he had and she knew she was happier for it. Her mother had been right. He was a good, decent man and she knew that no other man could ever make her as happy as she had been these last four months . Sometimes, love comes softly, and that is the way true love, real love, had come to her.

Walking into her bedroom she retrieved the little book from under her pillow and walked back to Anthony. As she climbed back into bed he started to speak, but she put her fingers gently over his lips.

"Growing up at Downton wasn't very pleasant. Stuck between beautiful Mary and vivacious Sybil there wasn't much left for me. I changed through the years to someone who wasn't very nice. Because I was looking for acceptance, attention, or maybe even love, I did some very stupid things. I took up with men who paid attention to me, flattered me and played to my insecurities. But they never loved me or really cared about me. Then you came along and wanted to marry me knowing all my dark little secrets. I don't know why you wanted to, but I am so glad you did. I love you Anthony, I love you with every breath of my being, and I will until the day I die."

Putting the little book on the pillow, she leaned in, took his face in her hands, wiped the tears from his face with her thumbs and kissed him. Not a deep kiss, just a simple one that a wife would give a husband when coming or going.

"I think I have much to thank Claudine for, she smiled. I am the recipient of the lessons she gave you. I think you and I need to look through this book together, to see if her inscription comes true. Our nights could be quite interesting."

"Oh, and there is one more thing Mr. Strallan. From now on the only female other than me that you are allowed to hug and kiss, will be our daughter or daughters. Do you understand?"

Smiling that quirky smile she loved and nodding his head he tilted his head and gave her "the look" and said, "Mr. Strallan?"

"Yes, I like the idea of being Mr. and Mrs. Strallan," she said softly. " There is a closeness about it, something our titles don't have. I know that I am Lady Strallan, but somehow I feel closer to you as just plain Mrs. Strallan. I think it is what we should call each other when we are alone. Tell me that you are okay with it."

"I will call you anything you want, Mrs. Strallan," he said heaving a deep sigh and pulling her to him. All he wanted to do was hold her. How wonderful she was. She hadn't judged him, and she loved him. Kissing the top of her head he pulled her closer. He loved her so much, he wished he could pull her inside him.

What a night it had been. He felt that the rain had washed everything clean. Tomorrow they could begin their life together fresh and new. All the ghosts from both their pasts were gone. And while she snuggled against him again, he smiled knowing that there were still four hours until sunrise.


	17. Chapter 17

Edith slowly opened her eyes. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was but when she did she smiled and stretched her arms over her head. She usually slept on her right side so she slowly rolled over only to discover that the object of her affection wasn't in the bed. Instead there was a note on the pillow , folded in two with the words _darling _written on it. She looked at the clock on the wall and it registered 6:30. Where was he? The bathroom door was open yet there wasn't any noise coming from there.

Propping herself on her left arm she read the note.

My darling Mrs. Strallan:

_I have an early morning meeting with Mr. Jamison who tends to our sheep. When I have finished I have something very important I want to talk to you about. I will meet you in the morning room about 8:30, that is unless you would like me to meet you upstairs in which case I am sure that nothing will get done all day long. Thank you for last night. I love you and will see you soon._

_Your loving husband_

_Mr. Strallan_

Edith smiled and slowly got out of bed. As she walked toward her bathroom she realized just how sore she was. She had used muscles last night that she didn't even know she had, but if she had her way they would get a regular workout. She drew a bath and eased in to soak and dream about her wonderful husband. Today was Wednesday. So much had happened since breakfast Monday morning when she had been so snarky to him. She felt as if today was the first day of their marriage; last night their wedding night.

By the time she was done bathing, Ethyl was waiting for her in the bedroom and Edith noticed that she was smiling. She had obviously noticed that Edith had not slept in her bed.

"Did you sleep well milady?" Ethyl inquired, and Edith couldn't stop the giggle that erupted when she looked at her.

"It was the best night's sleep I have ever had. And Ethyl, I won't be sleeping in here anymore."

Edith dressed faster than she ever had, not even letting Ethyl do her hair. She combed it and pulled it back with a scarf. She couldn't get downstairs fast enough.

Anthony was just beginning to get his breakfast when she entered the Morning Room. Turning toward her his heart almost stopped. She had a completely different look about her – contented, happy, serene. Putting his plate down he crossed the room and took her in his arms.

"Good morning sweetheart," he said as he first nuzzled her ear and then kissed her long and slow, just the way he knew she liked to be kissed.

"Did you get my note?"

"Yes, I did, but I would much rather have had the author," she said and she felt her heart beating furiously, and pounding in her ears. Putting her hands up into his hair she kissed him again and then said breathlessly,

"Darling, if we don't eat breakfast, I am afraid Oakley may walk in on a very intimate moment."

"Quite right," he winked as he handed her a plate and gently kissed her again.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" she said as she shamelessly attacked her breakfast.

Anthony looked at her and started to laugh, "Hungry, are we?"

"Yes, very, and I am sure you know why!"

"Edith, do you remember when we married I also bought 300 acres from your father. Well it is time that I started the process of bringing the sheep down so I was going to head up to Scotland on Sunday. I know that it isn't exactly the most romantic place for a honeymoon, but I would like you to come with me. I couldn't bear to be away from you for even a day – not now. Later in the autumn I would love to take you to Italy for a real honeymoon; a long leisurely one."

Smiling one of her big smiles she looked at him so lovingly and said, "Oh darling, how perfect. I couldn't think of anything better; just the two of us in Scotland and then Italy later."

"Well, it won't be just the two of us. I always stay with Margaret and James when I go north. And besides, since they couldn't make it down for the wedding, it is only proper that we stay with them so that they can get to know my adorable wife and she them. Don't worry, my sister is very sensitive. I am sure that she will put us in rooms as far away from everyone as she can. And you will love her because their lifestyle is very casual, no formal wear."

Edith reached over and took his hand, "I don't care where we stay as long as we are alone each night."

"I won't be with you much during the day but Margaret is good company and there are many things to do around Anctel. Getting the sheep ready takes a lot of time. Will you be okay with that?"

"Yes, Anthony I will. I just want us to be together, that's all," she said as she leaned in and squeezed his hand.

Finishing his breakfast and reaching for his paper he leaned toward her asking,

"So, my darling Mrs. Strallan (and he whispered the Mrs. Strallan), what are you going to do today?"

"Well, first I am going over to the Abbey and show off my new car. Then I am going to drive over to Ripon and pick up my new dress for Saturday night. And then I am going to come home and spend the rest of the day with my new husband. By that time I will be probably need a nap. All these "new" things will probably make me tired."

As she was talking she had managed to get out of her chair, slide her hands around Anthony's shoulders, ease herself into his lap, and kiss him as if they were the only two people in the world.

"I will see you this afternoon," she said as she put her left foot on the floor and got off of him. But bending down she whispered in his ear, "That is when the sluttish Mrs. Strallan will be home."

"Edith, he said as he took her hand in his not wanting to let her go, "Please drive carefully, I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

"Darling, how could anything happen? You bought me a car that doesn't go very fast. On that speedometer thing , the biggest number is 40. Please don't worry," and looking back over her shoulder she stopped and said, "I love you Anthony! I know that those words get banished around all the time, but I mean them from the bottom of my heart. You are the perfect man for me and when I get back today, I will slowly tell you why."

/ / / / / /

The rest of the week was wonderful as far as Edith was concerned. She and Anthony had managed to make love in at least three other rooms in Locksley other than their bedroom. They couldn't seem to get enough of each other and each time previous lessons were remembered and new ones learned.

One afternoon he told Oakley that he didn't want to be disturbed in his office as he had quite a lot of business to attend to. Oakley nodded, "Certainly, Sir," and when Anthony closed the door and locked it, Oakley smiled and went down to the kitchen for his afternoon tea with Mrs. Bass and Mrs. Sloan. Laughingly he told them that perhaps they needed to be a little louder when prowling around the house so as not to walk in on Sir Anthony and Lady Edith when they were alone together. All three chuckled at that. They knew what was going on behind those closed, locked doors.

/ / / / / /

When Saturday arrived Anthony noticed that Edith was back to her old edgy self. He knew that this gathering would be the biggest one since their marriage, but they were different now, very different from the two people they had been before. People would have to be blind not to see how in love with each other the Strallans were.

When Edith had her dress made for the gala, she had it made more fitted than fashion dictated. She knew that Anthony didn't care much for the newer styles because they tended to as he put it, _hide her_ _womanly assets_, mainly her curves. So she was happy with the way the woman who stared back at her from her full length mirror looked. She stood there slowly running her hands over her stomach. Hopefully there was baby growing in there. She wanted that more than anything else. She blushed slightly when she thought of how many times she and Anthony had made love since Tuesday night.

Her dress was a turquoise blue color, with just enough beading to give it a little sparkle. She had never worn that color before but it accented her skin and her hair. Ethyl had pulled her hair up in a style that had been popular a few years earlier; no waves or curls for her tonight. She knew the old gossips would have a field day with her different look, but she was ready for them. There was only one person's opinion she cared about and he was waiting for her downstairs.

Oakley and Mrs. Sloan were at the bottom of the staircase when Edith came down. Mrs. Sloan put her hand to her mouth and said, "Oh my, milady, you look absolutely beautiful."

"Yes! she does Mrs. Sloan, she certainly does," Anthony said as he came out of the library his eyes full of love and transfixed on his wife. He had never seen her look so gorgeous. His friends and cronies already envied him for marrying a younger woman, and he silently chuckled to himself knowing that tonight they would be picking their tongues up off the floor when they saw her.

Sampson was waiting at the front door and Edith turned to Anthony and said, "I thought we were going to drive ourselves?"

"Not tonight my love. I want to sit in the back seat with my arm around you all the way to York. And because I can't muss you up now, with Sampson driving I can kiss and muss you up all the way home."

And so on the drive to York, Edith snuggled against Anthony. His left arm was around her and her right hand rested in his left thigh . But in their blissful state they didn't realize that storm clouds were gathering, and little did they know that the love they felt for each other and their marriage itself, would be put to the test that night.


	18. Chapter 18

The refugee committee of York and Ripon had managed to snag Balfor as the location for its fundraising gala. Balfor was the country estate and home to Sir Edward and Lady Virginia Pantene, parents of Sir Reginald Pantene. Sir Edward had spent much of his adult life in government service, but now he had retired back to Balfor and had generously offered his home for the evening's event. Lady Virginia was an American, like Cora Crawley, but the difference between the two was that Sir Edward had married his wife because he had fallen deeply in love with her. His family had always been conservative and prudent and American money wasn't needed to keep Balfor profitable. Lady Virginia was from Charleston, South Carolina and her southern charm and upbringing proved through the years to be a huge asset to Sir Edward, their family, and the foreign office in general.

Edith had never been to Balfor before, but as they drove up the driveway toward the front of the house she noticed how beautiful the gardens were. The approach to the house was ringed with flowering shrubs and large urns filled with flowers stood on each side of the giant front door. She made a mental note that when she finished with the interior of Locksley she would work with the garden staff to make the approach to their house as lovely.

Everyone who was anyone in the county was there. After greeting Sir Edward and Lady Virginia, Edith and Anthony made their way into the main drawing room. The evening's event had been divided up into many different segments. The wealthy would certainly be parted from their money tonight.

The dining room was set up buffet style, a throw- back to the genteel American South. People could take as little or as much food as they wanted and eat wherever they chose. While it was a white tie affair, it had a casual elegance about it. The ballroom was festooned with flowers and a small orchestra was playing for those who wanted to dance. Since the committee was made up of women, their husbands and escorts hadn't been forgotten either. The billard room, smoking room and library had been stocked with cigars and liquor and the game room had tables set up for card games.

There was a new element that was being tried. It was called a silent auction. Edith's committee had gone to many of the shopkeepers in Ripon, Thrisk, and York and asked for donations to the refugee cause; not money but goods or services that could be bid on and then redeemed by the winner. They never used strong-arm tactics, but quietly explained that in order to get the refugee problem under control they needed money to do it; and money exchanged hands much easier if people were getting something in return. So when Edith and Anthony walked into the sunroom they were shocked to see all the goods on display with an auction bidding card in front of each one. There were bottles of wine, gift cards for certain currency amounts for lunches, tea, pastry, flowers, etc. all the things that the upper class craved and paid money to enjoy.

As they were looking at all the items, Edith saw Anthony write down an amount on a card.

"What are you bidding on? She asked as she leaned in to see.

"There is a new automotive shop in York that specializes in changing the oil in cars and car maintenance. I just thought I would put down an amount and see if anyone outbids me."

Edith looked at him and shook her head. Leave it to her Anthony to find just the thing to peek his interest. She took his arm and led him away, but somehow knew that he would make his way back here to see if anyone had indeed outbid him.

"Well darling, I am going to have to leave you on your own for a while. Part of my job on the committee is making sure everything I have been assigned to is running smoothly. I am sure that you will have no trouble finding the other husbands and cronies so you can talk about your favorite subjects, politics, woman and marriage. Give me about thirty minutes and I will find you and we will get something to eat." she said as they walked back toward the foyer.

They saw him coming toward them but had nowhere to go, so stopped as Reginald Pantene approached them. Edith was somewhat shocked, he didn't look like he did when she last saw him in Rome. He had shaved his moustache and his hair was shorter, not shaggy like it had been. He was also thinner; all in all Reginald Pantene had become in the space of four months a very handsome man.

"Lady Edith, Sir Anthony, may I have a moment of your time?"

Edith stole a quick look at Anthony and noticed him stiffening before she said as graciously as she could,

"Certainly."

"Lady Edith I want to apologize to you for that article that was printed a few months ago. I want to reassure you that I never spoke to the editor of that paper or anyone else for that matter about the time in Rome. Needless to say I was appalled when I read it. A gentleman would never talk about a lady in that way, and I may be many things but I was raised to be a gentleman."

Edith could see that Reggie was embarrassed, he was blushing and visibly uncomfortable.

Trying to put him at ease Edith said, "Reggie, thank you . Somehow I knew deep down inside that you would ever have stooped that low."

"You forgive me then – for everything?" and Edith knew that he meant that night when she fell into the fountain."

"Yes! Yes I do. Our little mishap brought my husband to me, so forgiving you is an easy thing to do."

"Well, yes. I saw your announcement and wish you both every happiness. In fact you have inspired me to consider doing the same. I. . ..ah. . . . .have been keeping company with Lady Alice Stewart. She seems to understand me, fancy that, and she makes me want to be a better man. Needless to say my parents and sisters are overjoyed."

"Lady Edith and I wish you well. What's in the past needs to stay there. Lady Alice is a lovely young woman. I have known her family for years," and with that Anthony put out his hand in an overture of friendship and forgiveness. Sir Reginald Pantene shook Anthony's hand, bowed his head to Edith and went to join the lady he hoped would accept his proposal.

"Well what do you know," Edith said as she took Anthony's arm and continued on to the foyer.

"Here is where I must leave you. I need to use the washroom and then start my duties. If you see papa, try and get him to play cards or billards. He hates these kinds of things. Take him over and show him the silent auction, he might actually see something he likes," Edith smiled as she squeezed his arm and headed toward the washroom.

Edith finished freshening up and was heading out the door when she caught the middle of a conversation which was obviously about her and Anthony. _Why can't these people leave us alone,_ she thought. What they were talking about were half-truths and speculation about her marriage. Coming up behind them, passing them and then turning back she said with as much sweetness in her voice as she could muster,

"You ladies are so quick to gossip and speculate about things, you don't give the truth a chance to put its pants on."

As she turned to walk away the older of the two said, "Well, I never!"

That was all Edith needed. Turning slowly she looked at the woman who had spoken. She was about forty and not bad looking. Looking her in the eye Edith smiled and said,

"No, I don't suppose you do. You know marriage can be a very happy experience, sharing hopes and dreams, enjoying being with each other. You might try coming down off your high horse and really look at your husband. He is a very charming man and Anthony and I have enjoyed talking to him on many occasions."

With that Edith turned and left two well dressed women embarrassed and blushing. She knew she should have kept her mouth shut, but somehow she couldn't let those barbs go unanswered. She found her mother and cousin Isobel, who had asked Dr. Clarkson to accompany her to the event. She talked with them for a while then excused herself. She was crossing the ballroom when she felt an arm taking her elbow. Expecting it to be Anthony she turned and said, "Darling," only to be looking into the face of Michael Gregson.

"Let go of my arm," she said as she struggled to get out of his grasp, but his grip was too tight and he was hurting her.

"I want to talk to you – now, on the terrace," he hissed in her ear. "If you don't agree I will make a scene and publish another little story about you. You may be married and hiding behind the Strallan name, but rest assured with a few well- chosen paragraphs I can make you the target of gossip for at least another six months.

Edith frantically looked around for Anthony but he was nowhere to be seen. To the casual onlooker, Edith was just talking to another guest. Her brain was spinning trying to figure out what to do. Looking at Gregson she said,

"Michael, I will meet you on the terrace in about three minutes. There is something I have to attend to first. If I don't they will come looking for me."

"Three minutes then Edith," he said as he walked out one of the five sets of French doors that circled the ballroom.

Edith was frantic. She couldn't go out on the terrace alone. If the wrong people saw her, the reputation that she had been slowly rebuilding would be ruined. It would look like she was meeting another man secretly, under Anthony's nose so to speak, and Anthony would be a laughing stock. Well, that was not going to happen. Gregson had almost ruined her before, he wouldn't have another chance tonight.

She surveyed the ballroom and saw Lady Gervis talking to some ladies across the room. Walking up to her she said,

"Lady Gervis may I talk to you?" Nodding to the other women, Edith led Claudia Gervis over to the French doors that were on the far left side of the room. Once there she started to explain,

"Lady Gervis, Michael Gregson the editor I once worked for on _The Sketch_ has come tonight to make trouble for me, and Anthony if he can. He demands that I meet him on the terrace so that he can talk to me. Please stand here by the door and watch, be my witness. With the palm here, you will be hidden. I am going to stand as close to the door as I can so you will be able to hear everything he has to say."

"Edith, let me find Hugh and he will bring Anthony, Claudia Gervis said as she turned to go find her husband.

"No, he gave me three minutes. I have to go out there now, please help me," Edith answered fear creeping its way into her voice.

"Alright my dear, I will watch you every minute, but I swear to God Edith if he gets out of hand I will grab the first man who comes by, do you understand?" Lady Gervis said as she gave Edith's arm a squeeze.

Edith nodded and squeezed her friends arm in return and then walked through the doors to she didn't know what.

The ballroom at Balfor was unique in that it was built in the shape of an oval. Five sets of French doors opened onto a terrace ringed with a small stone wall. Fifty or so years ago couples would be dancing inside the house, dance out onto the terrace from one set of doors and dance back in through another. Each set of doors gave a different view of the terrace.

Anthony walked into the ballroom just in time to see Edith walk out onto the terrace. They had only been separated about thirty minutes but already he missed her, and knowing they were in company just wanted to stand next to her and tell her how much he loved her. Walking toward the terrace he started to walk out one of the sets of doors that were on the opposite end of the room from where Lady Gervis was standing concealed by one of the large potted palms.

His heard his heart shatter and his life came crashing down around him as he saw his wife in the arms of, and kissing Michael Gregson. In a state of shock, he turned from the doors and slowly walked back across the room almost sure that he was going to be sick. _You are the biggest fool on earth,_ he chastised himself, as he headed toward one of the rooms where he could get a drink_. What made you think she could really ever love you, be happy with you. You married her and forced her to live out in the middle of nowhere with a man almost twenty years older. She told you that she didn't want to be married, but no you had to persist, persuade her against her will. You deserve everything you get._

When Edith walked out onto the terrace, Michael Gregson grabbed her and kissed her hard and rough. He wrapped his arms around her but he might as well been kissing a statue because Edith didn't move. She stood there, stone still, until he released her, angry that she hadn't responded.

"Edith, don't you understand that I love you. I came here to tell you that Lizzie died two weeks ago of a heart attack. I am free. Now we can be married." He said anxiously noticing that Edith had backed away from him.

Slowly, without raising her voice she said as calmly as she could,

"Michael, I am married. I love my husband."

"Divorce him, come away with me. A lot of tops are divorcing now, look at the Duke and Duchess of Marlborough. How could you even want a dried up old prune like him holding you and kissing you. Don't you remember how sensual the times we spent together were?" he asked and Edith could tell that he was getting angry.

"Anthony, a dried up old prune? Hardly!" she retorted. " Until I married Anthony I had no idea what real love was all about. He has shown me in so many different ways just how much he loves me. If you think for one minute that I would ever do anything to hurt him or disgrace him, then you better think again. Whatever friendship or flirtation we once had is gone forever. You made a huge mistake when you printed that article about me. Oh, the things you wrote about me were true enough, I suppose, but when you brought my family into it as well as Anthony, I think for the first time I saw you for what you really are. At one time I thought you to be a nice, decent man, but now all I see is a lonely, despicable man who used his position to destroy another person.

Listening to Edith had only made Gregson angrier. He suddenly realized he had lost whatever hold he once had on her. Marriage to Strallan had changed her. How she could ever love Anthony and share his bed enraged Gregson. Stepping closer to her and raising his hand as if to strike her he said,

"You slut! You think you can just walk out on me and be with someone else? Well you can't, I won't let you!"

"Yes she can, and yes you will, sir," and Gregson and Edith turned to see Sir Reginald Pantene and Lady Alice Stewart walking toward them.

_Reggie,_ Edith thought_, Thank God !_

Pantene put his hand out and pulled Edith behind him. Looking Gregson in the eye he said slowly with anger dripping from each word,

"Gregson, you will leave here immediately. You have caused Lady Strallan enough grief and embarrassment in her life. I will be writing a letter to your publisher explaining what happened here tonight and also explain about your constant stalking and blackmailing of her. Don't think for a moment I won't, and don't think for a moment I won't be believed. If you look over there you will see my father and Lady Gervis . They have witnessed everything that has gone on here. Pantene is an old and respected name; no letter with my father's signature would never be questioned."

Gregson looked toward the ballroom and indeed saw Sir Edward standing with Lady Gervis. Straightening his tie he nodded his head at the people standing in front on him, turned and walked away.

"Oh, Reggie thank you! How. . . . .did you. . . . .Edith was on the verge of tears.

"I was close-by and Lady Claudia pulled me over just in time to see him force himself on you, and see that he was about to slap you. I told you, Alice has made me a better man."

"Thank you! Oh thank you all so very much. I need to find Anthony and go home. Does anyone know where he is?"

"I believe he is in the library with some of his friends, " Sir Edward said kindly.

"Come," Reggie said," Alice and I will escort you to him."

Turning to Claudia Gervis Edith said, "Thank you! Thank you for being my friend. Anthony must never know about this. He will just berate himself for not being here to help me. "

"Don't worry my dear, This episode is over and will be safe with all of us I am sure." Claudia said as she gave Edith a kiss on the cheek. "Now go find that wonderful husband of yours."

Reggie and Alice escorted Edith as far as the library. Thanking them she entered the room and spotted Anthony talking to two men over by the fireplace. She was too far away to see the hurt and devastation in his eyes or how he seemed to be stooped over as if he were carrying the weight of the world on his back.

Little did Edith know as she walked toward him with a loving smile on her face that in a matter of a few hours she would be fighting for her marriage, her happiness, her very existence. The Anthony Strallan who would take her home to Locksley was not the same man who had left with her a few hours earlier.

_**A/N: I don't know if Silent Auctions are held in the UK, but over here they are big. Almost any fundraising event has them. So I thought I would make one part of this evening's events. **_


	19. Chapter 19

_**So here we are at the end. The Three Little Words that I like the most are at the end of the story. They are the ones my husband and I say to each other especially on our anniversary. Thank you all for your lovely reviews. All of you are so talented and the fact that you read what I write always makes my day. Thank you again!**_

Edith was so happy to see Anthony that she didn't really notice the look on his face. All she wanted to do was put her arm through his – touch him, know that he was her rock. The events of the last few minutes had just about done her in but now all that was behind her and Anthony was the only person who mattered. _I love him so_, she thought as they walked out of the library.

When she suggested they go home ,he surprised her by requesting they get something to eat first. As they were filling their plates at the dining room table and sideboards, she suddenly noticed that he had walked on ahead of her instead of waiting for her to finish ,and joined the Gervis' who were sitting at one of the small tables that had been set up in the dining room. _This isn't like him to_ _ignore me like this,_ she thought, but then dismissed it thinking that perhaps he was tired of all the hub-bub and just wanted to eat and chat with his friends. Edith shot a glance at Claudia Gervis but her face was serene as was her husbands, so Edith figured she hadn't told Hugh Gervis about her encounter on the terrace.

She was growing weary but Hugh and Claudia Gervis were such good company that they continued talking for at least another thirty minutes. Edith had mentally dropped out of the conversation, her mind fixating on how wonderful it would be when she and Anthony got home, when she was snapped back to reality when Anthony said,

"Are you ready to go home now, my dear?

_My dear! He hasn't called me that since we were first married,_ she thought. _Whatever is wrong with him? He knows I don't like that phrase._

But she didn't have time to contemplate that or anything else. Before she knew it she was saying good-bye to Sir Edward and Lady Virginia and being hustled out to their car.

"Anthony, what's wrong? I wanted to leave but I had hoped to say good-bye to a few people before we left, especially my parents, most specifically my mother who will bring it to my attention with a telephone call tomorrow I am sure," and this time there was a hint of irritation and confusion in her voice.

"Nothing's wrong. You told me you wanted to go home, so we are going home. Tomorrow is a very busy day, remember? I have a few things to do, so going home early will allow me to get them done," he said but his voice was terse.

She smiled to herself as she remembered what he had said about mussing her up on the way home, but sitting close together in the back seat of the Rolls he made no attempt to put his arm around her, or kiss her, or whisper those romantic, seductive little phrases that in the space of five day she had come to love; nothing, he just sat there like she didn't exist.

_What is wrong with him,_ she thought, and suddenly the idea that he may have heard about what had happened between her and Gregson floated to the surface of her thoughts. _But who would have told_ _him_, she thought. Edith had planned to tell him herself once they were home and snuggled down in their big bed. She loved Anthony's bed, big and warm especially when he was in it. It was where they talked about their day, their future, and enjoyed the pleasures of being married. It was her favorite place in the house.

"Darling, are you feeling alright? You don't seem to be yourself." She whispered in his ear, but when she went to kiss his neck he grabbed her wrist and replied, "Edith, I am fine, just tired. My arm has been bothering me that's all. But it was his tone of voice that suddenly scared her. She recognized that tone all too well. She had used it for years and had even used it with him. It was the tone that was dripping with ice.

As they pulled up to Locksley, Edith silently gave thanks for being home. Whatever was wrong she felt could be fixed as soon as they were alone. They had agreed on Tuesday night, that they would never go to bed angry. Whatever problems or disagreements they might have had would be resolved before they went to sleep. They both agreed that going to bed mad or going to bed in another room was not what they wanted in their marriage.

As they reached the bottom of the stairs Anthony suddenly turned and looked at her. It was as if he was seeing her as he had seen her on the night when she had come to his room, asking to be his wife. Pulling her into his arms he kissed her long and slow, relishing every second he was holding her. _This is the last time I will ever hold her or kiss her_, he cried to himself._ But_ _she is still my wife, and I want_ _to remember how she felt in my arms; how she felt before I lost her._

Edith melted into him. Oh how she loved being held by him. He always smelled so good and the way he kissed her, well, all she knew was that she would never get enough of him. She had wasted four months because of stubbornness and stupidity but when she finally came to him he had been so wonderful. Everything about their life now was wonderful. In her languid state she felt as if Anthony's kiss was burning away the one Gregson had given her. She was Anthony's and would be his until the day she died. But when she reached up to run her fingers through his hair, he gently pulled away.

"You go on up to bed, I won't be long he said as he gave her that crooked smile – but she noticed that it was tinged with something she couldn't comprehend. For a brief moment she thought sadness, but quickly dismissed the idea.

/ / / / / / / /

Edith was exhausted. As she climbed into bed and sunk deep into her pillow, her last thought was of how happy she was. She didn't know how long she slept, until she woke up needing to use the washroom. As she padded back across the bathroom she noticed that the small clock on her counter said 2:00. She had been up here for three hours, but where was Anthony? Surely any business he had to complete regarding their trip to Scotland couldn't take three hours. Putting on her robe, she softly made her way downstairs to the library.

The house was quiet, and the library was dark except for the glow from the fireplace. The door was ajar and as she entered she spied him sitting in his favorite chair in front of the fire. He had opened the bottle of Woodford Reserve, the historic Kentucky Bourbon that her grandmother had sent him shortly after their marriage, and was slowly sipping it while looking into the fire. He had taken off his coat, tie, and waistcoat, and had unbuttoned his shirt and had rolled up the sleeves. His hair was mussed up as if he had been running his hands through it. His legs were crossed and there were three envelopes on the small table in front of him. He didn't notice her at first, not until she came out of the darkness and into the glow cast by the fire.

"What are you doing down here?" she asked softly, " why don't you come up to bed? We have a big day tomorrow." Her question hung in the air between them, and the silence that followed was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Anthony raised his head and looked at her for what seemed to Edith an eternity. She couldn't see that well in the darkened room but she thought she noticed his eyes were red as if he had been crying. Saying nothing he slowly leaned forward in his chair, picked up the envelopes and held them out to her.

"These two envelopes are letters of introduction to my banker and lawyer and this third one is a letter of credit. You will need these when you go to London. "

"Why would I be going to London?" and now fear had crept into her voice. "I thought I was going to Scotland with you."

"Stop the pretense Edith, I saw you. I saw you in . . . .Gregsons arms,. . . . . . . I saw you. . . . . .I saw him kissing you," and his voice broke with more pain and anguish than Edith had ever heard.

She stood frozen on the carpet. Her mind was whirling. _He saw me with Gregson? But if he saw_ _me, why didn't he come out on the terrace and help me?_ _How much had he actually seen?_ She suddenly became aware that Anthony had convinced himself that she wanted to be with Gregson and go to London with him, and ever the gentleman he was going to make it easy for her to do so. She was shocked, frightened and her old friend panic was taking hold of her. Her heart suddenly began to race and tears pricked at her eyes. Anthony wanted to let her go, get rid of her, maybe divorce her and all because of something he might have seen but didn't understand.

She wanted to go to him, kiss him, tell him he was wrong but somehow she knew that wouldn't work. In the four months they had been married she had noticed how thoroughly he thought things through; once he had decided on a course of action it was hard to get him to change his mind. _Like many men_, she thought, _once they think they are right, they are right. _ No, if she wanted to save what they had, she had to take a different tact. Crying and pleading wouldn't work. . . . . .not in this situation.

She didn't take the envelopes, instead she sat down in the chair opposite him. "May I have a glass of that bourbon, "she asked keeping her voice calm.

"What. . . . . .what do you mean? I have never seen you drink hard liquor before," he said as he looked at her warily.

"I have been drinking whiskey since I was fourteen years old," she said as she got out of the chair and walked over to the tray where Anthony kept the glasses. "I used to sneak down to the library when the house was dark and pour myself a glass and then take it back to my room. At first I gaged, but I learned to sip it slowly and little by little became accustomed to the taste. Since no one ever noticed or cared what I did , it was easy. "

Walking back and sitting down again she reached for the bottle and poured herself two fingers of the deep amber liquid.

"I used to hide the glass so Anna wouldn't find it, and every night I would try again. It took about two months for me to get used to the taste. After a while I relied on it to relax me and eventually put me to sleep. I could never get used to the taste of Scotch."

You know this particular Bourbon is the one that they use at Churchill Downs in the mint juleps they serve during the Kentucky Derby. Only the best for the horsey set. " she said as she swirled the liquid in her glass. " You know I can't remember if it is Woodford Reserve or Southern Comfort that is called the grand old drink of the South. Nevertheless, it's certainly smooth, don't you think so?"

Anthony just stared at her. He was flabbergasted. Here was his beautiful wife sitting there calmly, not responding to his accusation, drinking straight whiskey and not batting an eye.

_Well, here goes_, she thought as she continued to look at him. _I am going into the fight of my life with my courage bolstered by bourbon. _

"Anthony,. . . . . . . darling, . . . . .it's true. Gregson was kissing me, but did you see me kiss him back?"

The question took Anthony by surprise. _What does she mean. . . . . . . did I see her kiss him back?_

"What?. . . . . . . . Are you. . . . . . denying what I saw?" he answered, his anger flaring up and Edith gripped her glass tighter because she had never heard that tone in his voice before.

Calmly she said, "No! I believe you saw Michael Gregson kissing me, but I will ask you again, did you see me kiss him back? Did you see my arms around him? Did you see me grind myself into him as I do you when you kiss me?"

_What kind of a game is she playing, I saw her. . . . . . . I saw her . . . . .in his arms, _his brain reminded him.

"I'm not a fool Edith, I know what I saw," and he took another sip of whiskey.

_Please help me, give me strength, let him know I am telling the truth, please_, she prayed silently.

"I know what you think you saw. But you didn't see me kissing Michael back because I didn't kiss him back. I didn't respond to him at all," and this time Edith took a sip of her drink.

Silence filled the air, neither continued to talk, but finally Edith, the old Edith, narrowed her eyes and softly but firmly said,

"You turned away and left when you saw what was happening, didn't you. You thought I wanted him? Sneaked out to meet him. How could you think that after what has happened between us the last few days, or do you think I am some wanton, deceitful woman who takes sexual pleasure where and as often as I can with whoever is available, even if it isn't my own husband." The whiskey was giving her courage to confront him and tears were beginning to form in her eyes.

Anthony sat there numb with his heart aching. All he could do was sit and stare at her. He didn't want to hear her explanations. He wanted to get up and leave, but he couldn't move. She was right. He had turned and walked away. Looking at her he knew in his heart that she wasn't wanton or deceitful. That wasn't who she was. She was his wife, he loved her. . . . .but. . . . . .was she right, had he misunderstood what he saw? Had he jumped to a terrible conclusion that could perhaps ruin them forever?

Taking another sip of whiskey she continued, "Anthony, I am many things, but stupid isn't one of them. Gregson grabbed me by the arm and threatened me with more scandal if I didn't meet him on the terrace. I looked around for you but couldn't find you. I saw Claudia Gervis and asked her to help me. . . . . . . . to watch from the door to see what happened. . . . .to be my witness. What she saw is what you saw, but she stayed where she was and saw what you didn't see. She saw Gregson kiss me, she saw me freeze on the spot and slowly back away from him. She heard me tell him that I loved you and only you, that I was happy with you. She saw him raise his hand as if to strike me and she saw Reggie Pantene step forward to stop him. As God is my witness, that is what happened.

If you refuse to believe me call Claudia in the morning, call Sir Edward, call Reggie, they saw everything as well. They will tell you the truth."

Anthony raised his head and looked at her. The look on his face was that of a man in torment; tears were slowly running down his cheeks. He hated himself. He should have been the one to save his wife, but no, fear and despair had forced him to turn away and not go to her aid, and a man who had helped sully her reputation had helped her instead.

"My heart belongs to you.," she continued. " Every time you kiss me, put your hands on me, love me, you are putting the Strallan brand on me. You have branded my soul. I wear your beautiful wedding ring. To me that means I am bound to you for all time, in this life and I hope the next." Edith put her hand on her abdomen and continued,"I know that there is a Strallan baby growing in me ;don't ask me how I know, I just know. Call it woman's intuition. My heart knows. Do you think for a moment I would risk that?"

Rising from her chair she went over to him and knelt down beside him. Taking his hand in hers she said,

"Anthony, you think too much, you worry too much. Locksley is my home and it is where I intend to live with you. I'm not going to London or anywhere else, without you. I am not going to raise this baby, without you, and I am not going to live my life, without you. You can throw me out, but I will come back. You can leave, but when you return I will be here," and her voice was soft, gentle, almost purring.

"Four months ago we stood in Grantham church and made a contract with each other. We spoke vows to each other. We are bound together in the sight of God and man. _**I am yours**_ and _**you are mine**_," and her voice was strong and firm.

Rising to her feet, she picked up the three envelopes and tossed them into the fire.

Looking at him with love she said, "Now that we have all this nonsense settled, finish your drink darling", You can't let good whiskey like that go to waste, and please come to bed, you look absolutely done in."

All he could do was stare at her. She was the strongest woman he knew. With a few well chosen words she had dispelled all his fears. He felt like the biggest fool in Yorkshire and maybe England at this moment. She had saved them and he knew he would cherish her all the days of his life.

Reaching the door she stopped, and with her hand over her heart, she looked at him, smiled and said, "Anthony, I have seen the ugly side of life tonight. I feel that I, we have been tested and somehow have come through the fire. Putting her hand on her abdomen she looked at him and smiled.

"_**I choose us darling. . . . . . . I choose us!"**_

Anthony had her in his arms in less than a heartbeat. She loved him, wanted him, needed him. That was all he ever needed to know. He would beg her forgiveness and he knew in his heart that she would give it to him. As they walked up the stairs he stopped on the landing, turned, looked at her and said,

"The best day of my life was the day you said yes and I will never understand how I got so lucky. My life is nothing without you and I am afraid that you are going to find out through the years just what a damn fool I can be sometimes. Putting his hand on her abdomen, and in the moonlight coming in through the large window he smiled that lopsided smile that she loved and whispered the three little words that for the rest of their lives they would say to each other over and over again. . . . . . . . . . . . . _**I choose us.**_

_**AN: I know that all of us who write about Anthony/Edith are concerned about series 4. Here is a thought. I have re-watched all of the episodes that have these two in them and I don't think JF is done with them yet. I might be "all wet", but in Season 1 ,Anthony walks away at the end. JF could have left it at that but no, in Season 2 JF brings him back in the CS only to tell Edith that they can't take up again. What was that all about? Why bring him back at all especially since no mention was made of him during the war years? Then we have Season 3 where everything falls apart and once again Anthony is walking away. So the big question mark for me is: Why does JF keep bringing him back unless he has a master plan for our duo, which I know all of us hope he does. Just rambling. . . . . . . what do you think?**_


End file.
